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stillonmystringSo. Let's talk weight loss for a moment. I've been trying to lose weight since April (I'm not going to say I'm on a diet because I'm trying to change the way I eat/exercise for life, not just until I lose all the weight I want to). I've posted about it a couple times here but not much. Mostly because the Internet is my way to escape from what's going on in real life for awhile so I don't like to talk about stuff like that here. But it's almost the end of the year so I figured this was a good time to take a look at my progress.
I haven't lost much weight in the past month but I mostly blame that on winter/the holidays making me eat way more than I have been. Seriously, all the goodies are still hard to resist, even if I haven't been quite as gluttonous as in past years. Also, most of my exercise has consisted of walking thus far, because it's one of the few things that I don't absolutely hate doing, so, obviously, can't really go on walks when there's a foot of snow on the ground and it's below freezing outside. So instead, I've been doing workout videos but haven't been doing them with much consistency because winter makes me lazy, I don't like working out around other people, etc., etc. Anyway, all excuses aside, the good thing is I'm still occasionally losing and I haven't gained at all. As long as I can at least keep steady throughout the winter, I'll be able to get completely back on track when spring rolls around. But despite the progress being unbearably slow lately, I have lost very nearly 60 pounds this year, which isn't anything to scoff at, I know. I'll admit, I started out at about 260 pounds, give or take a couple because I didn't officially weigh myself until a couple weeks in. I realize now just how big that number is but I was kind of in denial at the time. It's weird, you know how most people say that when they look in the mirror they don't think they look that good? Well, for me, it's kind of the opposite. I've always known I was overweight but I would look at myself and think, Eh, it could be a lot worse when in fact it was already pretty bad. So I've gotten frustrated at times because I couldn't see a huge difference but the fact is, I had (and still have) a lot longer way to go than I thought I did.
I don't have many pictures of myself because I usually hate them. (Which I realize now is probably because they showed what I really looked like but I was convinced they were wrong because it wasn't how I saw myself.) But these pictures are from two summers ago, when I was probably around my starting weight because I think I'd been in that same weight range for two or three years.
And here is a super, super shitty, unflattering picture I took of myself in July of this year, mostly for these exact purposes and not because I thought I looked good or anything. Because, God. It's really unflattering. I apparently took it on the exact day that I weighed in at 230 pounds. So about halfway through my current weight loss. (Seriously, my bangs did not look that bad all the time, okay?!? Maybe they weren't exactly perfect for my fat face but they looked way better most days.)
And now, for the pictures I am not actually embarrassed to look at. These first couple I believe I took at the beginning of November and I was sort of trying to imitate that chin-in-hands pose from further up for comparison purposes. It's not an exact replica but I think you can see that I've lost weight.
And finally, I took these pictures today! Because I had actually straightened my hair and looked decent so I thought why not. My last weigh-in was on Sunday and I was 203 pounds. I've been struggling with these last ten pounds that will break the 200-pound barrier FOREVER. I will be so happy when I finally hit 199. I honestly don't know how long it's been since I weighed less than 200 pounds. I think I can at least safely say I will weigh less than I did in high school. Hell, I probably weigh less than I ever did in high school right now though I can't be completely certain. But I'm pretty sure. Anyway, these are actually the first pictures in a long time that I don't completely hate. I mean, I don't look at them and just think, Oh God, you can see my double chin or geez, my cheeks look hideously chubby! So I guess that's a good thing. Also, please ignore my acne because I couldn't be bothered to Photoshop it away. Besides, it's not as bad as it used to be, I promise. My whole entire face used to break out at once which you can see the scars of but there are only, like, three actual pimples on display here so I consider it a good day. And they're kind of washed out. Sorry about that too. Photography is not my strong suit.
I haven't lost much weight in the past month but I mostly blame that on winter/the holidays making me eat way more than I have been. Seriously, all the goodies are still hard to resist, even if I haven't been quite as gluttonous as in past years. Also, most of my exercise has consisted of walking thus far, because it's one of the few things that I don't absolutely hate doing, so, obviously, can't really go on walks when there's a foot of snow on the ground and it's below freezing outside. So instead, I've been doing workout videos but haven't been doing them with much consistency because winter makes me lazy, I don't like working out around other people, etc., etc. Anyway, all excuses aside, the good thing is I'm still occasionally losing and I haven't gained at all. As long as I can at least keep steady throughout the winter, I'll be able to get completely back on track when spring rolls around. But despite the progress being unbearably slow lately, I have lost very nearly 60 pounds this year, which isn't anything to scoff at, I know. I'll admit, I started out at about 260 pounds, give or take a couple because I didn't officially weigh myself until a couple weeks in. I realize now just how big that number is but I was kind of in denial at the time. It's weird, you know how most people say that when they look in the mirror they don't think they look that good? Well, for me, it's kind of the opposite. I've always known I was overweight but I would look at myself and think, Eh, it could be a lot worse when in fact it was already pretty bad. So I've gotten frustrated at times because I couldn't see a huge difference but the fact is, I had (and still have) a lot longer way to go than I thought I did.
I don't have many pictures of myself because I usually hate them. (Which I realize now is probably because they showed what I really looked like but I was convinced they were wrong because it wasn't how I saw myself.) But these pictures are from two summers ago, when I was probably around my starting weight because I think I'd been in that same weight range for two or three years.
And here is a super, super shitty, unflattering picture I took of myself in July of this year, mostly for these exact purposes and not because I thought I looked good or anything. Because, God. It's really unflattering. I apparently took it on the exact day that I weighed in at 230 pounds. So about halfway through my current weight loss. (Seriously, my bangs did not look that bad all the time, okay?!? Maybe they weren't exactly perfect for my fat face but they looked way better most days.)
And now, for the pictures I am not actually embarrassed to look at. These first couple I believe I took at the beginning of November and I was sort of trying to imitate that chin-in-hands pose from further up for comparison purposes. It's not an exact replica but I think you can see that I've lost weight.
And finally, I took these pictures today! Because I had actually straightened my hair and looked decent so I thought why not. My last weigh-in was on Sunday and I was 203 pounds. I've been struggling with these last ten pounds that will break the 200-pound barrier FOREVER. I will be so happy when I finally hit 199. I honestly don't know how long it's been since I weighed less than 200 pounds. I think I can at least safely say I will weigh less than I did in high school. Hell, I probably weigh less than I ever did in high school right now though I can't be completely certain. But I'm pretty sure. Anyway, these are actually the first pictures in a long time that I don't completely hate. I mean, I don't look at them and just think, Oh God, you can see my double chin or geez, my cheeks look hideously chubby! So I guess that's a good thing. Also, please ignore my acne because I couldn't be bothered to Photoshop it away. Besides, it's not as bad as it used to be, I promise. My whole entire face used to break out at once which you can see the scars of but there are only, like, three actual pimples on display here so I consider it a good day. And they're kind of washed out. Sorry about that too. Photography is not my strong suit.
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Date: 2010-12-25 06:52 pm (UTC)first of all MERRY CHRISTMAS, I hope you have a wonderful day and get some awesome presents and whatnot. :D I'm sorry we did not get to talk more and I was feeling so craptastical earlier. and I'm sorry I never got to send you your birthday presents OR anything for Christmas! what is wrong with me? one day one day one day I will make it up to you I swear. I have to go to the post office this week anyhow to send college stuff so I am going to try to get myself in gear and send you a package.
secondly, I just found these!! I don't know if you have them already.
Lydia demos (Empty Out Your Stomach, A Place Near The City, I've Never Seen a Witch): http://www.mediafire.com/?lk51rh9atgkare0
This December Live: http://www.mediafire.com/?bqa64xl338e89rf
also, did you know about this USTREAM thing? 3 new songs??? I had no idea... and whoa this stuff sounds so different, though you can't really hear it that well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxxAQCVQ-Ro
and I only just found out about the DVD :(
aaaaand states put up an acoustic version of some song on their website up for download: http://www.statesmusic.com/main.php I still haven't listened to the EP yet (might do that today) but I like this song!
ANYWAY ENOUGH LYDIA STUFF
thirdly, you should feel super proud!!
and you are beauteous!!
also awesome, and one of my very favorite people. <3
I LOVE YOU
HAPPY HOLIDAYS
amanda!
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Date: 2010-12-26 05:35 am (UTC)Thanks for that Lydia stuff! I don't think I have any of it. OMG EXCITEMENT! Did you hear about their tour DVD supposedly getting completely erased due to a dead hard drive though? It's kind of shady to me that they didn't have it backed up or anything and it's upsetting but I was kind of expecting something like that anyway since it was supposed to come out way back in October.
I already have that States song but thanks anyway. I also have "Time to Begin" acoustic and another song that's not on the EP, if you are interested. The EP has actually grown on me a lot. If you haven't listened to the whole thing yet, you should hear "Anxious" and "Falling For". Those are my favorites, along with "Another Chapter". I was kind of surprised how powerful Mindy's voice sounds on some parts. I didn't think she was quite that good.
Anyway. I will shut up since I could have just told you all this on MSN. Love you. Too-da-loo! <3