stillonmystring | Newbury Legacy: 9.0

Last time: The family moved into a new home for (hopefully) the last time. There were plenty of engagement and marriage festivities to go around. Now bring on generation nine, baby!

I think we all know what these oh-so-thrilled facial expressions indicate! It's baby time!

But first! Here's a brief interlude of Elliott and Jack smustling at their heir painting photo shoot (featuring a cameo by the ever-popular Clueless Work Friend):

We shall see the fruits of their labor a bit later...

Nolan: "GET THIS DRUNK BITCH AWAY FROM ME! SHE'S TOTALLY TRYING TO HIT ON ME AND I AM FAITHFUL TO MY WIFE, OK?!?"

Yes, as you can see this woman was absolutely charming. As is Elliott.

Alien Maid: "WHERE IS MY LOVER, JUDE?!? HOW DARE THESE PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO WORK FOR THEM WHEN HE'S NOT HERE TO FUCK ME AFTERWARDS!" *RAGE*

Mahjong. It is a sickness, I'm telling you. Which is why I eventually got rid of this thing. It made the house ridiculously boring.

Dancing while pregnant? Adorable. As long as she's being careful about keeping the baby-jostling to a minimum.

Jack: "Holy shit, honey, you are huge! When did this happen???"
Also, as you can see, the painting has been completed...

MY AWESOME PHOTOSHOPPING SKILLS. ENVY THEM.

I'll admit, that was a whole lot of filler about nothing because not much actually happened between conception and delivery. With that in mind...

Morgan: "HOLY SHIT I AM HAVING A BABY OVER HERE!"

Elliott: "Alright, everybody, calm down. I've been taking breathing classes! I know exactly what to do."

Nolan was too much of a pansy to actually enter the room. Or even go upstairs at all.

Jack is not pleased at this interruption. He needs his beauty sleep, people!

Gemma: "What the fuck?!? GET OUT OF BED, YOU MORON!"
Jack: *zzzZZZZzzzzzz*

Jack: "What's going on? Why is everybody up here? What's all that screaming about? Do I hear a baby crying?"

Gemma: "Sweetie, your wife was just in labor. You really should be more considerate of the weight of childbirth we must bear as women!"
Jack: "IT'S TWO IN THE MORNING, MOM! I WAS ASLEEP! DON'T JUDGE ME, OK?!?"

Morgan: "Can't we all just get along?"
Anyway, meet baby June! I didn't actually realize that her name was one letter off from Juno until she was well into her teenage years. But she's got her grandfather's lovely green eyes! And a skintone I'm not particularly fond of but I'm sure we can make it work.

About ten minutes later...
Elliott: "OMG GUYS MY WATER TOTALLY JUST BROKE!"

Nolan's still a pansy but at least he sucked it up enough to actually be in the same room this time.

Morgan: "It's all going to be okay. Just breathe. One, two, three, breathe! One, two, three, breathe!"
Jack: "Shouldn't you be in bed resting, honey? You did just give birth to our child less than half an hour ago, after all."

I don't think the two of them are very pleased with Elliott for stealing their lime light.

Elliott: "My baby's better than yours."
'Tis true. It's a red-haired, green-eyed, better-skintoned baby boy named Caleb. I am already in love!

Apparently, having two newborns in this house only makes Morgan and Jack eager to conceive another. (Although they can't... because the household's already too full.)

Robbie: "Holy shit, I did not need to see that. Way to ruin a guy's morning!"

It's nice that you love your grandson and all but I think you need to stop cuddling and start changing that diaper pronto.

I think Morgan is trying to discreetly claim Caleb as her own. She always seems to be stuffing his face full of unneeded milk rather than her own daughter's.
Morgan: "I am doing no such thing! How dare you even imply that!"

Morgan: "It's okay, baby, I'll give you a nice warm bath since I'm sure your sad excuse of a mother never does."
Elliott: "You do know I can hear every word you're saying, right?!?"

Oh, look, it's time for Gemma to become an elder!
Robbie: "I refuse to associate myself with that old biddy any longer."
Well, I hate to tell you, but you're next, buddy!

Morgan: "If I ever get this old, please, someone just shoot me and put me out of my misery, okay?'

Robbie, rather unenthusiastically, takes his turn to blow out the candles.

Clearly, he's still in denial over what those candles mean.

As you can see, the two of them are the most kind-hearted, charming elders in existence. Well, at least they've still got their good looks anyway.

Elliott: "Hey, brother... come say hi to Mr. Bunnybear!"
Jack: "She's right behind me, isn't she? Please make her go away."

Elliott: *is devastated*

Elliott: "Goddamnit, this being a mother stuff is harder than I thought it would be!"

Elliott: "And that fucking idiot of a husband I've got! He doesn't know the first thing about parenting, the bastard!"
Nolan: "Umm... honey? Right behind you here."

Elliott: "I can't do anything right, can I?"
There, there, dear, at least you're amusing for your balancing-on-the-edge-of-a-nervous-breakdown antics.

Case in point: I don't think Mr. Snowman there wants or needs to learn tai chi. But thanks for trying!

Clearly, she is just going insane over the fact that HER BROTHER AND HIS WIFE WANT SO LITTLE TO DO WITH THEIR OWN CHILD THEY HAND IT OVER TO HER HUSBAND WHILE THEY MACK ON EACH OTHER!