Newbury Legacy: 8.6
Oct. 28th, 2009 12:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stillonmystring<--- Elliott is a little more than slightly kooky and I love her for it. (Unfortunately, the context behind this icon will not be revealed for several more updates.)
Last time: The kids all went off to experience the joys of college life. At their temporary new home in Academie Le Tour, all three managed to find romance... eventually. Elliott was giving me some trouble - I worried about her future as a lonely spinster before she finally found a guy who fit her very specific criteria. Also, Jack seems to be a bit of a playa. So is Allegra but she's a Romance Sim so it's completely warranted. But Jack! Jack is either a hybrid Knowledge/Family or Knowledge/Fortune and should not be headed down this path! I think he's just so excited about the sex that he doesn't much care who he's having it with, if you know what I mean.
Oh, look! Robbie decided to swing by and brag to his children all about his vacation in Takemizu Village (more on that later)! I guess he enjoyed it a whole lot since he's still walking around in that super snazzy kimono.
After he finished telling everyone of his worldly travels, he decided to totally cockblock his own daughter by distracting Nolan with dirty jokes every five minutes. Nice, Robbie, nice.
Elliott: "Um, dad?... Hello, trying to score over here!"
From now on, I am officially referring to this laugh as the "suck-up" laugh. Because, honestly, what joke is really that funny?
Apparently, the butch femme look is the hot new fashion statement at Academie Le Tour this year. Brunette back there is all, "Bitch, you better get rid of yo' ugly ass self and that haircut you totally can not pull off! Only the truly blessed can make that work, honey! I'm one of 'em and you definitely ain't!"
FISHING FUN TIMES! (I think I've mentioned before that I really like shots featuring many Sims which is the only reason this exists. Seriously, fishing was pretty much all the entertainment that existed on this community lot.)
Harlan: *picks yet another fight*
Butch Brunette: *victim of unprovoked violence*
Butch Blondie: *innocent bystander*
Joel: "Hey, don't go knocking around that totally hot dude, you bastard! If anyone's gonna touch him, it'll be me!"
Um, sorry to break it to you - I know the haircut is confusing and all - but, Joel, that is most definitely a female. Obviously, you're in desperate need of some loving if you're that blind, poor thing.
Jack: "HEHEHE, I AM SO SHY AND COY! PLEASE! DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME! I AM SUCH A TIMID LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT!"
LIES. ALL LIES. And poor Maxine is entirely clueless.
Elliott: "Oh, hey, Grandma, nice broomstick!"
And why exactly is Elise flying around on a broomstick, you might be asking?... Well, here's the answer to that burning question:
She was transformed into a witch by her Supreme Warlock of All Things Evil boyfriend, Douglas!
Elise: "Please, don't shoot!"
Apparently, becoming an evil witch involves rave lights and shit. Yeah, I have no idea either.
"BWAHAHAHAHA, NOW I SHALL SPREAD MISCHIEF AND MAYHEM AND BECOME SOLE RULER OF THE SIM UNIVERSE! MY POWER IS LIMITLESS! NO ONE IS SAFE! BWAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAH -"
Right. I think we get it now, Elise.
The entire family decided to stop by to make sure the kids are behaving themselves and all and this scene raises several different points:
A. I really need to change Robbie out of that damn kimono
B. Robbie's all "OMG DUDE IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU!!!" to Jude and Jude's all "Um... but we live in the same house and see each other every day?" *indulges the crazy*
C. Gemma received a brief makeover which I quickly undid because she just didn't look like herself anymore
D. Elise has wasted no time in getting naked in the hot tub
E. Jack is SWOONING OVER HIS NAKED ALMOST-GRANDMOTHER IN THE HOT TUB!
and finally
F. WHY IS NO ONE AT HOME WITH THE ALIEN SPAWN?!? I know she's not a little baby anymore but toddlers aren't exactly self-dependent either. I really hope they've got Lola or, hell, even zombie Blake or an incompetent nanny over there taking care of her otherwise I have lost complete faith in this family's parenting skills (however dodgy they were in the first place).
Anyway, speaking of that alien spawn, I should probably show off the adorableness that is toddler Fiona:
She doesn't seem very impressed by the stories Gemma picks out to read to her.
Gemma: "So then the magical race car..."
Fiona: "NO MAGICAL RACE CARS! NO! NO!"
Gemma: "Okay, okay... so then the magical neon green kitten-like creature..."
Yeah, who knows what kind of chaos she's causing at home with no one there to look after her.
Jack: "Hey, Dad, awesome job on getting your kids potty trained! I know it must have been such a difficult task and you really pulled through on that one."
LOL. The sarcasm is apparent and hilarious. And Robbie is oblivious.
Anyway, Jack here being the part-Knowledge Sim that he is decided he wanted to risk death by getting himself struck by lightning. Hey, if he wants to be idiotic, that's his call, not mine, so puddle-splashing in the middle of a thunderstorm it is!
Sadly, he got distracted by this tree - ZOMG! - catching on fire and never got to fulfill that wish. Jack and fire do not seem to be very good friends. Just keep that in mind, alright? It might come in handy later.
Elliott, meanwhile, is attracting all of the campus lesbians with her naked hot tub antics. But no worries! The girl's only got eyes (or lips) for Nolan, it seems.
DID SOMEONE SAY WATER BALLOON FIGHT SPAM?!?
It never gets old, I'm telling you! (In unrelated news, annoying cheerleader has discovered the joys of the hot tub and spends about 85% of her time soaking away all by her lonesome now... which I guess is okay since it keeps her from running around and shouting her head off all over the place.)
Elliott is a sneaky, evil little girl and keeps pelting her brother relentlessly without even giving him a chance to retaliate.
"NANANANANANA, YOU CAN'T GET ME!"
Both sides are loaded and ready to go. Who will strike first?!?
And Elliott is finally knocked off her pedestal!
"NANANANANANA, YOU CAN'T GET ME!"
Ah, the joys of college students who continue to act like twelve-year-olds!
Since life at college is slightly boring without any crazy, mildly retarded dormies running around, let's check back in at home now!
Elise has got the evil witch cackle down pat. Though, I don't know, this pose looks more vampire-y than witchy to me. But still, FIERCE.
Elise: "CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE! MY EVIL MINIVAN AND I ARE HERE TO RUIN
THE LIVES OF SOME INNOCENT UNASSUMING TOWNIES!"
Who shall be Elise Winterson the Mean Witch's (hey, she's working her way up to Atrociously Evil - give her some time!) first victim?
This strapping young lad is suddenly overcome by the urge to dance like a chicken! Hilarity ensues. (He is rather adorable though... must remember him for possible use in the future.)
Next up is this fashion-challenged dweeb!
"OH NO. OH GOD. SHE'S POINTING THAT THING AT ME, ISN'T SHE?!? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN? I'M
SO SCARED! WHYYYYYY MEEEEEE?!?"
She made him fat, by the way. Which is apparently a neutral spell and not an evil one. I don't understand because who wants to be fat?!? That seems pretty evil to me.
Finally, she summons a swarm of mutant evil bees to chase after this very angry woman. Bwahaha!
Cutely-freckled alien chick finds Elise's spell-casting just hysterical! Yeah, I bet you wouldn't be finding it so funny if you were the victim, huh? Luckily, we're going to spare you the torture for now.
The entire family gathered in the kitchen and simultaneously cheering?? This can only mean one thing...
BIRTHDAY EXPLOSION TIME! (I realize it's weird to grow Fiona up so much when, if I was trying to be realistic, the kids' time at University is only four years but whatev... I don't want her in the house forever after I start on the next generation.)
OKAY AND NOW... SHIELD YOUR EYES BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE PAINFUL! HONESTLY, YOU MIGHT JUST WANT TO BLEACH THE IMAGES AWAY RIGHT AFTER YOU'VE SEEN THEM.
READY?!?
Jack: "Oh my God, Grandma, guess what?!? I'm totally not a virgin anymore!!111!!!!!"
Um. That does not seem like an appropriate course of discussion, young man, and I do not like where you are headed one bit.
OMG. OMG. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. I AM GOING TO BE FOREVER SCARRED BY THIS.
THIS IS ALL KINDS OF WRONG, PEOPLE! STOP IT! NOW! I COMMAND YOU! NO LITTLE RED HEARTS OF LOVE! I DID NOT APPROVE THIS! EVEN MR. PENGUIN BACK THERE IS REPULSED AND DISGUSTED!
*falls dead on the floor*
Okay. Now that I've had a chance to collect myself, let me state that this was most definitely all of their own volition (thanks, ACR, really!) and it was most definitely instigated by Jack, the sex fiend, himself. Also, I know that they are not actually related in any way but the kid was taken care of by her as a baby, she is pretty much his grandmother on everything but a biological level, AND IT'S JUST WRONG, OKAY? UGH. Now where's that eye bleach?
No. Just no. An innocent game of red hands during which you just so happen to be clothed in next to nothing is not going to make me forget about what just happened, okay? YOU TWO ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!
To distract you from the terror, LOOK AT ADORABLE CHILD FIONA! STARE INTO HER BIG BLACK HOLE EYES AND
LET HER CONSUME YOUR SOUL! ERR... I MEAN... ISN'T SHE THE CUTEST?!? If she wasn't totally ineligible and I wasn't growing her up as quickly as possible, therefore robbing her of any time to flourish personality-wise, she would totally be a huge contender for heir right now.
Speaking of... we are inching ever closer to generation NINE! Except not really because I've been prolonging the heir decision as long as humanly possible because I FLOVE THESE KIDS LIKE THEY'RE MY OWN AND I
WANT TO KEEP THEM ALL! (Alright, that's a lie. If you can't tell, I've got two clear favorites and the leftover third was practically non-existent this update. But still. The two are practically tied right now.)
Last time: The kids all went off to experience the joys of college life. At their temporary new home in Academie Le Tour, all three managed to find romance... eventually. Elliott was giving me some trouble - I worried about her future as a lonely spinster before she finally found a guy who fit her very specific criteria. Also, Jack seems to be a bit of a playa. So is Allegra but she's a Romance Sim so it's completely warranted. But Jack! Jack is either a hybrid Knowledge/Family or Knowledge/Fortune and should not be headed down this path! I think he's just so excited about the sex that he doesn't much care who he's having it with, if you know what I mean.
Oh, look! Robbie decided to swing by and brag to his children all about his vacation in Takemizu Village (more on that later)! I guess he enjoyed it a whole lot since he's still walking around in that super snazzy kimono.
After he finished telling everyone of his worldly travels, he decided to totally cockblock his own daughter by distracting Nolan with dirty jokes every five minutes. Nice, Robbie, nice.
Elliott: "Um, dad?... Hello, trying to score over here!"
From now on, I am officially referring to this laugh as the "suck-up" laugh. Because, honestly, what joke is really that funny?
Apparently, the butch femme look is the hot new fashion statement at Academie Le Tour this year. Brunette back there is all, "Bitch, you better get rid of yo' ugly ass self and that haircut you totally can not pull off! Only the truly blessed can make that work, honey! I'm one of 'em and you definitely ain't!"
FISHING FUN TIMES! (I think I've mentioned before that I really like shots featuring many Sims which is the only reason this exists. Seriously, fishing was pretty much all the entertainment that existed on this community lot.)
Harlan: *picks yet another fight*
Butch Brunette: *victim of unprovoked violence*
Butch Blondie: *innocent bystander*
Joel: "Hey, don't go knocking around that totally hot dude, you bastard! If anyone's gonna touch him, it'll be me!"
Um, sorry to break it to you - I know the haircut is confusing and all - but, Joel, that is most definitely a female. Obviously, you're in desperate need of some loving if you're that blind, poor thing.
Jack: "HEHEHE, I AM SO SHY AND COY! PLEASE! DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME! I AM SUCH A TIMID LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT!"
LIES. ALL LIES. And poor Maxine is entirely clueless.
Elliott: "Oh, hey, Grandma, nice broomstick!"
And why exactly is Elise flying around on a broomstick, you might be asking?... Well, here's the answer to that burning question:
She was transformed into a witch by her Supreme Warlock of All Things Evil boyfriend, Douglas!
Elise: "Please, don't shoot!"
Apparently, becoming an evil witch involves rave lights and shit. Yeah, I have no idea either.
"BWAHAHAHAHA, NOW I SHALL SPREAD MISCHIEF AND MAYHEM AND BECOME SOLE RULER OF THE SIM UNIVERSE! MY POWER IS LIMITLESS! NO ONE IS SAFE! BWAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAH -"
Right. I think we get it now, Elise.
The entire family decided to stop by to make sure the kids are behaving themselves and all and this scene raises several different points:
A. I really need to change Robbie out of that damn kimono
B. Robbie's all "OMG DUDE IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU!!!" to Jude and Jude's all "Um... but we live in the same house and see each other every day?" *indulges the crazy*
C. Gemma received a brief makeover which I quickly undid because she just didn't look like herself anymore
D. Elise has wasted no time in getting naked in the hot tub
E. Jack is SWOONING OVER HIS NAKED ALMOST-GRANDMOTHER IN THE HOT TUB!
and finally
F. WHY IS NO ONE AT HOME WITH THE ALIEN SPAWN?!? I know she's not a little baby anymore but toddlers aren't exactly self-dependent either. I really hope they've got Lola or, hell, even zombie Blake or an incompetent nanny over there taking care of her otherwise I have lost complete faith in this family's parenting skills (however dodgy they were in the first place).
Anyway, speaking of that alien spawn, I should probably show off the adorableness that is toddler Fiona:
She doesn't seem very impressed by the stories Gemma picks out to read to her.
Gemma: "So then the magical race car..."
Fiona: "NO MAGICAL RACE CARS! NO! NO!"
Gemma: "Okay, okay... so then the magical neon green kitten-like creature..."
Yeah, who knows what kind of chaos she's causing at home with no one there to look after her.
Jack: "Hey, Dad, awesome job on getting your kids potty trained! I know it must have been such a difficult task and you really pulled through on that one."
LOL. The sarcasm is apparent and hilarious. And Robbie is oblivious.
Anyway, Jack here being the part-Knowledge Sim that he is decided he wanted to risk death by getting himself struck by lightning. Hey, if he wants to be idiotic, that's his call, not mine, so puddle-splashing in the middle of a thunderstorm it is!
Sadly, he got distracted by this tree - ZOMG! - catching on fire and never got to fulfill that wish. Jack and fire do not seem to be very good friends. Just keep that in mind, alright? It might come in handy later.
Elliott, meanwhile, is attracting all of the campus lesbians with her naked hot tub antics. But no worries! The girl's only got eyes (or lips) for Nolan, it seems.
DID SOMEONE SAY WATER BALLOON FIGHT SPAM?!?
It never gets old, I'm telling you! (In unrelated news, annoying cheerleader has discovered the joys of the hot tub and spends about 85% of her time soaking away all by her lonesome now... which I guess is okay since it keeps her from running around and shouting her head off all over the place.)
Elliott is a sneaky, evil little girl and keeps pelting her brother relentlessly without even giving him a chance to retaliate.
"NANANANANANA, YOU CAN'T GET ME!"
Both sides are loaded and ready to go. Who will strike first?!?
And Elliott is finally knocked off her pedestal!
"NANANANANANA, YOU CAN'T GET ME!"
Ah, the joys of college students who continue to act like twelve-year-olds!
Since life at college is slightly boring without any crazy, mildly retarded dormies running around, let's check back in at home now!
Elise has got the evil witch cackle down pat. Though, I don't know, this pose looks more vampire-y than witchy to me. But still, FIERCE.
Elise: "CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE! MY EVIL MINIVAN AND I ARE HERE TO RUIN
THE LIVES OF SOME INNOCENT UNASSUMING TOWNIES!"
Who shall be Elise Winterson the Mean Witch's (hey, she's working her way up to Atrociously Evil - give her some time!) first victim?
This strapping young lad is suddenly overcome by the urge to dance like a chicken! Hilarity ensues. (He is rather adorable though... must remember him for possible use in the future.)
Next up is this fashion-challenged dweeb!
"OH NO. OH GOD. SHE'S POINTING THAT THING AT ME, ISN'T SHE?!? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN? I'M
SO SCARED! WHYYYYYY MEEEEEE?!?"
She made him fat, by the way. Which is apparently a neutral spell and not an evil one. I don't understand because who wants to be fat?!? That seems pretty evil to me.
Finally, she summons a swarm of mutant evil bees to chase after this very angry woman. Bwahaha!
Cutely-freckled alien chick finds Elise's spell-casting just hysterical! Yeah, I bet you wouldn't be finding it so funny if you were the victim, huh? Luckily, we're going to spare you the torture for now.
The entire family gathered in the kitchen and simultaneously cheering?? This can only mean one thing...
BIRTHDAY EXPLOSION TIME! (I realize it's weird to grow Fiona up so much when, if I was trying to be realistic, the kids' time at University is only four years but whatev... I don't want her in the house forever after I start on the next generation.)
OKAY AND NOW... SHIELD YOUR EYES BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE PAINFUL! HONESTLY, YOU MIGHT JUST WANT TO BLEACH THE IMAGES AWAY RIGHT AFTER YOU'VE SEEN THEM.
READY?!?
Jack: "Oh my God, Grandma, guess what?!? I'm totally not a virgin anymore!!111!!!!!"
Um. That does not seem like an appropriate course of discussion, young man, and I do not like where you are headed one bit.
OMG. OMG. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. I AM GOING TO BE FOREVER SCARRED BY THIS.
THIS IS ALL KINDS OF WRONG, PEOPLE! STOP IT! NOW! I COMMAND YOU! NO LITTLE RED HEARTS OF LOVE! I DID NOT APPROVE THIS! EVEN MR. PENGUIN BACK THERE IS REPULSED AND DISGUSTED!
*falls dead on the floor*
Okay. Now that I've had a chance to collect myself, let me state that this was most definitely all of their own volition (thanks, ACR, really!) and it was most definitely instigated by Jack, the sex fiend, himself. Also, I know that they are not actually related in any way but the kid was taken care of by her as a baby, she is pretty much his grandmother on everything but a biological level, AND IT'S JUST WRONG, OKAY? UGH. Now where's that eye bleach?
No. Just no. An innocent game of red hands during which you just so happen to be clothed in next to nothing is not going to make me forget about what just happened, okay? YOU TWO ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!
To distract you from the terror, LOOK AT ADORABLE CHILD FIONA! STARE INTO HER BIG BLACK HOLE EYES AND
LET HER CONSUME YOUR SOUL! ERR... I MEAN... ISN'T SHE THE CUTEST?!? If she wasn't totally ineligible and I wasn't growing her up as quickly as possible, therefore robbing her of any time to flourish personality-wise, she would totally be a huge contender for heir right now.
Speaking of... we are inching ever closer to generation NINE! Except not really because I've been prolonging the heir decision as long as humanly possible because I FLOVE THESE KIDS LIKE THEY'RE MY OWN AND I
WANT TO KEEP THEM ALL! (Alright, that's a lie. If you can't tell, I've got two clear favorites and the leftover third was practically non-existent this update. But still. The two are practically tied right now.)
