Newbury Legacy: 8.0
Oct. 9th, 2009 12:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stillonmystringLast time: Gemma was chosen as the heir(ess)! And she and her high school sweetheart, Robbie, got hitched! And it was awesome! AND NOW IT'S BABY TIME OMG!!11!!! I really need to post these more often because the bbs born here are now in college. Seriously.
Robbie: "Good morning, Mrs. Robbie Benson!"
"...Mrs. Benson?"
Yeah, I'm afraid your wife is a little preoccupied with puking her guts out right now.
But she doesn't mind, really! If only because she looks so freaking adorable pregnant!
In other news around the house, some random teenage girl who I'm pretty sure he's never met keeps calling Jude up.
Jude: "Please stop calling here. Do I look like a pedophile to you?"
Well... you know, the fact that you're half-naked isn't really helping your cause.
Jude: "WOOOOOO! PLAYING IN LEAVES! ISN'T THIS SO MUCH FUN, HONEY?!?"
Elise: "I just finished raking those, you asshole."
Jude: "Ohhhhh baby, you sure are fine when you're making out with another man!"
Yep, these two are doing just fine. Gemma, on the other hand...
"I don't feel so hot..."
Well, you're past the morning sickness so you don't have to worry about that anymore... but then your stupid husband had to go and bring home a cold from work and give it to the entire household. THANKS A LOT, ROBBIE!
"Oh my God, I'm going to die!"
No, you're just going to hack your lungs up all over the bathtub. It's all good.
*HACK HACK HACK* "I THINK I'VE GOT TEH SICKNESS!"
Um... I am not so sure those trailing hearts and flowers are a symptom of the flu. It seems that Robbie has also caught Elise's puzzling ailment. I tried to Google this... and all I got was that it happens when you drink a love potion or something. But I'm pretty sure no one in this house has been drinking love potion. So I'm left to assume that they're just so naturally sexy they don't even need a love potion. Or this is some weird but highly amusing glitch.
Robbie: "...Are you noticing anything strange happening around here lately?"
Apart from the fact that you're eating sparkly pancakes and you've got flowers growing at your feet and hearts leaking from your chest, nope, nothing unusual here!
The role of Gemma will now be temporarily taken over by an elephant.
STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, YOU SPREADER OF DISEASE! IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
Gah. Okay, maybe I feel a little bit sorry. *pets*
Gemma: "Holy shit, I'm having a baby!"
Jude: *is concerned*
Robbie: *does not care enough to wake up*
But his non-existent concern is so beautiful!
Jude: "Congratulations on becoming a father, dude!"
Robbie: "Haha, yeah, thanks!... Wait, what?"
Anywho, this is twin number one, Elliott.
And this is twin number two, Allegra. Both girls. Both sporting the purple eyes that I am not very fond of but whatever.
D'awwwwww....
Elise: "NO WAY AM I TOUCHING THIS STINKY BABY! ONE WAS ENOUGH FOR ME, THANKS! I AM WAY TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT NOW! AND SHE'S NOT EVEN MY DAUGHTER, OKAY?!? I HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO RAISE HER CHILDREN FOR HER!!!!"
Yet you voice no objections to shoving a bottle down their throat every opportunity you can get. Seriously, these girls are going to be fat because...
MUST FEED
NON-STOP!
Robbie: "Help! I can't get around my wife to feed my child yet another unnecessary bottle of milk!"
Sexy work uniform, babe. Somehow she totally works it.
Erm... oops? But their oops, not mine. Because they're pretty much a 24-hour baby-making factory all on their own.
You know what this random assortment of houseguests means! BIRTHDAY PARTY TIME! (Yeah, I don't know why I invited family and then randomly threw the evil warlock into the mix either. Just go with it.)
Douglas the "Evil" Warlock (I can't take evilness seriously with that name): "Why, hello there, sexy."
Elise: "Well, hellooooo there yourself!" *wolf whistle*
Gemma: "OH GOD MY ACHING BACK! THE AGONY!" (I've never seen a pregnant Sim complain about their back before. Interesting.)
WHY LOOK AT YOU ELLIOTT YOU LITTLE CUTIE!
Unfortunately, she is left abandoned so that her sister can grow up too.
Elliott: "I SAID BATH NOT BOTTLE! WHAT KIND OF LAME SERVICE IS THIS?!?"
Allegra: "BAAAAAATH!"
Robbie: "Ugh, I hope no one else realizes how much that baby stinks!"
Douglas: "This. Party. Sucks!" *glower*
Yep, Allegra's a real charmer too.
Gemma: "Excuse me?... Is it too late to change my mind about this whole motherhood thing? I'm not sure I really like it anymore!"
How kind of you to spray our roach-infested yard for us, Lola, since no one else can be bothered to.
Elise: *HACK HACK HACK*
Douglas: "So... are we gonna make out or not??"
Jude: "Please to not be hacking your germs all over my omelet, honey, thanks."
GAHH WILL THE SICKNESS EVER GO AWAY?!?
Elliott: "Mommy, look, I drew picture!"
Your mommy's a little tired right now, dear. Maybe later.
I'm afraid this pregnancy isn't treating poor Gem very kindly.
Wipe that smug little smile off your face, Robbie, and go take responsibility for your children so your sick wife can get some rest!
Allegra: "Daddy, look, I'm riding a horsey!"
Robbie: "Not now, honey, your mom's about to have another baby!"
This, my friends, is the face of pure petrification. Clearly Allegra does not approve of having a baby sibling in the house!
Gemma: "Maybe it's just indigestion..."
Yeaaaah... nice try but I'm pretty sure that's not it.
Robbie: "HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS PREGNANT!"
Right. You didn't notice her waddling around the house while you did nothing to make life easier for her? YOU ARE A TERRIBLE (BUT CUTE) HUSBAND!
"ROBBIE, IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
*hack* "COMING" *hack* "HONEY" *hack* "BE RIGHT THERE!" *dies* (but not really)
Jude: "Goddamnit, how could you bring another child into this house, you irresponsible little bitch?!?"
Way to support your daughter there.
Meet Jack. Jack has scary-pale skin, his mother's alien eyes, and his first introduction to the outside world is his father's fake enthusiasm and his grandfather... I don't even know what his grandfather is doing but it's probably not comforting for a baby.
Elliott: "NOW I'LL BE IGNORED EVEN MORE THAN I ALREADY AM!" *eats hand, no one cares*
*hangs head in defeat*
And there you have it, a child giving up on life before she's graduated from diapers. WHAT KIND OF A WORLD IS THIS?!?
Shitty commentary is shitty. It would've been funnier if I'd actually done it when it was still fresh.
Robbie: "Good morning, Mrs. Robbie Benson!"
"...Mrs. Benson?"
Yeah, I'm afraid your wife is a little preoccupied with puking her guts out right now.
But she doesn't mind, really! If only because she looks so freaking adorable pregnant!
In other news around the house, some random teenage girl who I'm pretty sure he's never met keeps calling Jude up.
Jude: "Please stop calling here. Do I look like a pedophile to you?"
Well... you know, the fact that you're half-naked isn't really helping your cause.
Jude: "WOOOOOO! PLAYING IN LEAVES! ISN'T THIS SO MUCH FUN, HONEY?!?"
Elise: "I just finished raking those, you asshole."
Jude: "Ohhhhh baby, you sure are fine when you're making out with another man!"
Yep, these two are doing just fine. Gemma, on the other hand...
"I don't feel so hot..."
Well, you're past the morning sickness so you don't have to worry about that anymore... but then your stupid husband had to go and bring home a cold from work and give it to the entire household. THANKS A LOT, ROBBIE!
"Oh my God, I'm going to die!"
No, you're just going to hack your lungs up all over the bathtub. It's all good.
*HACK HACK HACK* "I THINK I'VE GOT TEH SICKNESS!"
Um... I am not so sure those trailing hearts and flowers are a symptom of the flu. It seems that Robbie has also caught Elise's puzzling ailment. I tried to Google this... and all I got was that it happens when you drink a love potion or something. But I'm pretty sure no one in this house has been drinking love potion. So I'm left to assume that they're just so naturally sexy they don't even need a love potion. Or this is some weird but highly amusing glitch.
Robbie: "...Are you noticing anything strange happening around here lately?"
Apart from the fact that you're eating sparkly pancakes and you've got flowers growing at your feet and hearts leaking from your chest, nope, nothing unusual here!
The role of Gemma will now be temporarily taken over by an elephant.
STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, YOU SPREADER OF DISEASE! IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
Gah. Okay, maybe I feel a little bit sorry. *pets*
Gemma: "Holy shit, I'm having a baby!"
Jude: *is concerned*
Robbie: *does not care enough to wake up*
But his non-existent concern is so beautiful!
Jude: "Congratulations on becoming a father, dude!"
Robbie: "Haha, yeah, thanks!... Wait, what?"
Anywho, this is twin number one, Elliott.
And this is twin number two, Allegra. Both girls. Both sporting the purple eyes that I am not very fond of but whatever.
D'awwwwww....
Elise: "NO WAY AM I TOUCHING THIS STINKY BABY! ONE WAS ENOUGH FOR ME, THANKS! I AM WAY TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT NOW! AND SHE'S NOT EVEN MY DAUGHTER, OKAY?!? I HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO RAISE HER CHILDREN FOR HER!!!!"
Yet you voice no objections to shoving a bottle down their throat every opportunity you can get. Seriously, these girls are going to be fat because...
MUST FEED
NON-STOP!
Robbie: "Help! I can't get around my wife to feed my child yet another unnecessary bottle of milk!"
Sexy work uniform, babe. Somehow she totally works it.
Erm... oops? But their oops, not mine. Because they're pretty much a 24-hour baby-making factory all on their own.
You know what this random assortment of houseguests means! BIRTHDAY PARTY TIME! (Yeah, I don't know why I invited family and then randomly threw the evil warlock into the mix either. Just go with it.)
Douglas the "Evil" Warlock (I can't take evilness seriously with that name): "Why, hello there, sexy."
Elise: "Well, hellooooo there yourself!" *wolf whistle*
Gemma: "OH GOD MY ACHING BACK! THE AGONY!" (I've never seen a pregnant Sim complain about their back before. Interesting.)
WHY LOOK AT YOU ELLIOTT YOU LITTLE CUTIE!
Unfortunately, she is left abandoned so that her sister can grow up too.
Elliott: "I SAID BATH NOT BOTTLE! WHAT KIND OF LAME SERVICE IS THIS?!?"
Allegra: "BAAAAAATH!"
Robbie: "Ugh, I hope no one else realizes how much that baby stinks!"
Douglas: "This. Party. Sucks!" *glower*
Yep, Allegra's a real charmer too.
Gemma: "Excuse me?... Is it too late to change my mind about this whole motherhood thing? I'm not sure I really like it anymore!"
How kind of you to spray our roach-infested yard for us, Lola, since no one else can be bothered to.
Elise: *HACK HACK HACK*
Douglas: "So... are we gonna make out or not??"
Jude: "Please to not be hacking your germs all over my omelet, honey, thanks."
GAHH WILL THE SICKNESS EVER GO AWAY?!?
Elliott: "Mommy, look, I drew picture!"
Your mommy's a little tired right now, dear. Maybe later.
I'm afraid this pregnancy isn't treating poor Gem very kindly.
Wipe that smug little smile off your face, Robbie, and go take responsibility for your children so your sick wife can get some rest!
Allegra: "Daddy, look, I'm riding a horsey!"
Robbie: "Not now, honey, your mom's about to have another baby!"
This, my friends, is the face of pure petrification. Clearly Allegra does not approve of having a baby sibling in the house!
Gemma: "Maybe it's just indigestion..."
Yeaaaah... nice try but I'm pretty sure that's not it.
Robbie: "HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS PREGNANT!"
Right. You didn't notice her waddling around the house while you did nothing to make life easier for her? YOU ARE A TERRIBLE (BUT CUTE) HUSBAND!
"ROBBIE, IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
*hack* "COMING" *hack* "HONEY" *hack* "BE RIGHT THERE!" *dies* (but not really)
Jude: "Goddamnit, how could you bring another child into this house, you irresponsible little bitch?!?"
Way to support your daughter there.
Meet Jack. Jack has scary-pale skin, his mother's alien eyes, and his first introduction to the outside world is his father's fake enthusiasm and his grandfather... I don't even know what his grandfather is doing but it's probably not comforting for a baby.
Elliott: "NOW I'LL BE IGNORED EVEN MORE THAN I ALREADY AM!" *eats hand, no one cares*
*hangs head in defeat*
And there you have it, a child giving up on life before she's graduated from diapers. WHAT KIND OF A WORLD IS THIS?!?
Shitty commentary is shitty. It would've been funnier if I'd actually done it when it was still fresh.
