2009 (January-June): Books

[stillonmystring]

Books I read in the first half of the year. Split up because Livejournal is stupid and can't handle extremely long posts. Yes, there are spoilers so read with caution if you're planning on picking any of these up in the near future.

1. The Emperor's Children - Claire Messud ★★½

This might be a little better than 2.5 stars but I had to change the rating because, compared to the other books I've rated 3 stars at this point, this is not as good as those so it should be lower-rated. Mostly due to the writing: it is very dense, not difficult but unnecessarily wordy and slightly self-indulgent, and sometimes gets all tangled up in its own ambition. Also, the story: it doesn't really get moving until the novel's midpoint. But once it does get there, Messud lets up on the overly pretentious prose and the story becomes much more interesting and easy to get through. She's at her best writing-wise when she goes for a more stream-of-conscious approach; it's far from abstract but it's a refreshing change and leads to some really beautiful, emotional passages. Especially in the post-9/11 chapters, about the last hundred pages, you can really feel the chaotic changes in each character's life in a very affecting way; from the midpoint, the book is good, but from this point, the book is great. I only wish the rest of it resonated so fully and didn't spend so much time lingering on over-analyzing and painstakingly describing a whole lot of empty, meaningless air.

2. Anagrams -  Lorrie Moore ★★★★★

This was so so so lovely. It tells the story of Benna and Gerard, who are sometimes in love and sometimes are not, but it is done much differently than you might initially assume. True to the book's title, this is more like a series of related short stories; the characters are disassembled and then rearranged into something new but so essentially the same. The first four chapters, which make up about one-fourth of the book, are like enticing little entrees which, though delicious, do not prepare you nearly enough for the sheer perfection that is the main course. Moore's writing is just so fantastic - it's very simple and free of any unnecessary fanciness but resonates so deeply; it is funny and serious and happy and sad and hopeful and regretful all at the same time. She doesn't really explain everything about the characters but through their words and actions, you end up feeling like you know them completely inside and out. If you're a fan of Aimee Bender, Miranda July, etc. you will love this. All these writers share the same brand of subtle, dry humor; the endless amounts of wit and cleverness; the same unadorned, almost naked, and brutally honest writing style; and most importantly, the same ability to turn the everyday into something completely enchanting and interesting and almost mythical. This is a quick read but one that's bound to stick with you for a long time. I can't wait to read more of her stuff.

3. Watch Your Mouth - Daniel Handler ★★★★½

I have to say, this is probably my favorite of his three non-Lemony Snicket novels, which I guess is not the popular opinion - but, hey, when have I ever agreed with the popular opinion on things? Anyway, this book is full of dry humor and it's also rather crude, but not in an off-putting away, at least not to me but it would take a lot to disturb me; I like reading disturbing books. And the crudeness is kind of necessary because the whole plot of the book basically revolves around sex... so I can see how it wouldn't have very mass appeal. But like I said, I enjoy things like that. Anyway, the way this book is split into two parts - using the unlikely writing devices of an opera and a twelve-step program - is very creative and refreshing and the narrator's voice is very relatable. The story itself is completely unbelievable and crazy but I think that's the point. For a book filled with incest and lots of death, it's a weird thing to say, but if you don't take it too seriously, it's a very fun read. Just try not to think too hard about the plot because you will not be able to force it to make sense and it's more enjoyable if you just accept that and let it take you for a crazy little ride.

4. Coraline - Neil Gaiman ★★★½

This is a very quick read; I finished it in a couple of hours. Of the Neil Gaiman I've read, though, this was definitely my favorite so far. My biggest complaint is that the plot progresses way too fast to build up any real tension or suspense but that's not surprising since it's supposed to be a children's novel and therefore tailored to those with short attention spans. Though I can't imagine any child under the age of ten reading this without being scared; there are some truly frightening mental images conjured up here and even some of the accompanying illustrations are rather scary. Anyway, this was pretty good and I still want to read more Gaiman, but I don't know, my feelings about his writing are very neutral - I don't adore it but I don't dislike it either and I'm the kind of person who has to either love or hate; I can't handle being stuck in the middle like that. I would recommend this to someone else - it's cute but at the same time completely scary - but I wouldn't go out of my way to read it again or anything. I am rather interested in seeing how the upcoming film version of it turns out now, though.

5. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh ★★★★½ ★★★★★

I paid more than was actually necessary for this just to get the movie tie-in edition so I could drool over the period clothing. I haven't even seen the movie yet to know if it's any good (though my Netflix rental is patiently waiting for me to get around to it now that I've finished the book) but God, those '20s costumes are just so damn lovely! Anyway, I've been wanting to read this for awhile and I've been hyping it up to myself an insane amount that I would absolutely love it, so I would have been beyond disappointed if that turned out not to be true. But luckily this book is very very good; it's not exactly what I wanted it to be but it's good regardless. You see, I have this kind of weakness for eccentric, over-the-top characters who are extremely charming but also tragically, hopelessly flawed (Does this sound familiar? Actually, I haven't really gotten to the "tragically, hopelessly flawed" part of my story yet, but it's coming.) and so I was completely in love with Sebastian before I even read the book - so I wish that he was in it more than he already is but he's not really the main character in this story, so that's more my selfishness speaking than an actual problem in the book itself. Anyway, yeah, it's good, even though the rating is probably slightly inflated by the fact that I wanted to like it so much that I may have forced myself to a bit more than I really did; but, still, I think I would have liked it even if I hadn't known anything about it beforehand.

Thoughts upon re-read: I liked this more this time so yes, I am changing the rating. I had an urge to re-read this both after seeing the movie and after re-reading The Secret History because for some reason, the two remind me of each other - I think it's the whole idea of the main character being accepted into this elite group and being totally enamored by them that makes them so similar and also that I completely fell in love with the characters. Well, actually, in this book, the only one I really adore is Sebastian but I adore him so completely that he basically becomes the book for me. Anyway, also upon re-reading this, I found that the movie is actually even more dissimilar to the book than I thought (and I'm coming to realize more and more that the only reason I love the movie as I do is for my imaginary lover Ben Whishaw; if he wasn't there I would care about it a lot less - and picturing him as Sebastian while reading made me love the character even more). And the long, introspective passages aren't nearly as dull as I led myself to believe they were the first time. Though I do still wish Sebastian was more present in the second half. I mean, I get why he can't be but still... I just love him so. I want to read a whole book about Sebastian and how tortured and depressed he is. It would be angsty as hell but so fucking good.

6. High Fidelity - Nick Hornby ★★★

Eh, this was alright. I don't feel very strongly about it in either direction. I got more into it the further into the book I got and I really enjoyed from when Rob and Laura got back together until the end. But... I don't know. It just doesn't make me feel anything. I don't even feel neutral, as in I can't decide whether I liked it or not. I just feel nothing. Not positive, negative, or in the middle. I can't even think of anything to say about it I feel so little. It wasn't a bad book, not at all... it was just... bleh, I can't even describe it. I was just left utterly unaffected by it in any way, shape, or form.

7. The Baroness - Sarah Slean ★★★

This is a very slim volume of poetry, less than fifty pages long. Sarah's poetry isn't always brilliant but when it's great, it's really great. She has this lovely way with words and can create such vivid, beautiful images and emotions - I wish that her lyrics these days were more like a lot of these poems. Actually, I was surprised to find three songs from The Baroness Redecorates listed in the table of contents; apparently, they were poems before they were songs and once I read them, this became obvious - their lyrics are so much more layered and less repetitive than any of The Baroness's songs. Especially "Modern Man"; that one is just devastatingly gorgeous and I wouldn't have realized it without seeing the lyrics laid out as a poem without the musical accompaniment. So I think she should take this in mind and write more songs as poems first and then add the music or something because this seems to work very well for her. Anyway, this took me about a half-hour at most to read and it's nothing mindblowing but the girl's definitely got talent. I can't really remember much of her first volume of poetry, Ravens, but the two are probably on about the same level.

8. The Secret History - Donna Tartt ★★★★★

I love this book so fucking much. (And this will be full of plot spoilers so don't read if you don't want to know - and I do suggest going into this book for the first time with as little knowledge of it as possible.) I had this sudden urge to read it once again though I was kind of reluctant to because I was afraid I wouldn't find it as interesting or enthralling or something (this was my third time reading it so that's an understandable worry). Thankfully, that turned out to be completely untrue. The initial suspense of having no idea what happens next isn't there anymore but it doesn't matter much and, in some ways, I think I liked it even better this time than before. It was easier to dig into all of the story's smaller aspects, every detail of the writing, really sink my teeth into the characters and their motivations. And the knowledge of what happens didn't have an adverse effect on my emotional involvement either - I was still left completely shocked and shaken by Henry's suicide even when I knew it was coming. And I found myself even more affected than I have been before by the smallest exchanges: Camilla telling Richard she can't marry him, the final sentence of Bunny's letter to Julian (and I pretty much despised Bunny so this is an achievement), Charles' murmuring of "She's hiding from me" when asked about Camilla - there's so much.

I also realized that there are actually quite a few humorous parts in this book. I hadn't noticed so much previously but, though darkly funny for the most part, they are there. I found myself trying extremely hard not to crack up at this: "And as we leave Donne and Walton on the shores of Metahemeralism, we wave a fond farewell to those famous chums of yore." It makes no sense out of context or if you haven't read the book, but if you know what I'm talking about, it's hilarious. Also hilarious, in a morbid sort of way, is how blase they all are about killing Bunny right before they actually do it. They find out that Bunny might not be coming and they might not be able to get it over with and the first thing Charles and Camilla worry about is what they're going to serve for dinner and they start arguing over it like they weren't just about to take part in murdering someone. And on that note, is it terrible of me that I was kind of glad Bunny died? I mean, not really glad, but I didn't feel very bad for him either - I was terribly annoyed by him the entire book but I think that's kind of the point. I think we're supposed to hate him as much as the other characters do so that we can sympathize with why they killed him or something. And really, I didn't feel all that bad when Henry died either. Surprised, yes, but in all honesty, he had become a rather unlikable (and more than a little disturbing) character by the time of his demise as well.

Anyway, I still love all of the main characters, even though they all have many rather undesirable character traits. My favorite character is Francis which isn't surprising to anyone who knows me very well; he's exactly the type of character I fall for. Charles is my second favorite. He becomes pretty dispicable the further into alcoholism he falls and ends up having a direct hand in the final big scene but I can't help but feel extremely sorry for him anyway. He's just so vulnerable and sad and lost that I feel bad for him and want to comfort him. Basically, I just adore this book and, you know, if they made a movie out of it, I would totally be the first one in line. It probably won't happen at this point and there's a good chance it'd be ruined anyway but... it would be interesting to see attempted.

Another thing I realized upon re-reading this is how much I've ripped it off, er, been inspired by it in my current story that I'm writing. I made a list of all the similarities I could think of but it's embarrassingly long - and I've since thought of even more - so I'm not going to post it. Also, it's slightly spoiler-y for my story, if anyone cares.

OH MY GOD. My talking about a movie of this prompted me to do a Google search and I came across this gem of a webpage. Oh Lord, the comments about people's casting choices nearly made me die laughing. Oh my God. I'm like having an attack over here, seriously.

Now I'm going to go on about this forever but OMG, I also found this: "For casting, here is who I would choose: Justin Chatwin as Richard Papen; Jared Leto as Henry Winter; Richard Pattinson as Charles Macaulay; Emma Watson as Camilla Macaulay; Jake Gyllenhaal as Francis Abernathy; Ben McKenzie as Cloke Rayburn; and, finally, Pete Wentz as Bunny Corcoran. I know he is not an actor but a singer, but I think he could try acting for awhile, and that this role would suit him perfectly. When I read the book, sometimes I picture these actors as the characters and it really makes it much more interesting." There are so many things wrong here. First of all, fucking JARED LETO as Henry? Just no. "Richard" Pattinson looks nothing like how Charles is described in the book but the thing I wouldn't be able to handle most is his American accent which is terrible and would ruin the whole thing on its own. Emma Watson is too young to be Camilla and also does not fit the description (I guess she's only two years younger than Camilla would be, but she looks a lot younger to me). Jake Gyllenhaal, as much as I love the dude, is not Francis even one bit - Francis is a redhead and extremely thin for a start and, as much as people speculate that Jake is gay, he is nowhere near effeminate-looking enough to be Francis. And then we get to the last choice: PETE WENTZ AS BUNNY?!? Oh hell no - not only does he bear no physical resemblance to Bunny in the book but he does not belong in any movie, period. He doesn't even belong in music. He just needs to go away entirely. I don't know the other two actors they mentioned so I won't insult those choices, but I feel like this person didn't even read the same book. And the fact that they say they picture those people as the characters when they read it? UGH. Seriously, even taking things that can be changed like hair and eye color out of consideration, none of these people bear even the slightest resemblance to the characters as they are described in the book. Okay, I'll stop ranting now.

9. Not Much Fun - Dorothy Parker ★★★½

You know, I do love most of Dottie's poetry and a few of her short stories dearly, but I have to admit, I'm really more attracted to her for her personality and the era she represents and all of her witty, subtly cruel, completely hilarious wisecracks than for her writing. Her poems are good but predictable; a lot of them seem like the same exact thing with different wording and by about the tenth surprise sarcastic ending, they aren't surprising anymore. And her short stories sometimes hit the mark but often seem rather narrow in focus as well. But Dottie the enigma, Dottie as a complete embodiment of the days of flappers and Prohibition, is so infinitely intriguing and charming to me that it's easy to forgive the shortcomings in her work. Sure, she writes about the same thing over and over again, but it's a topic she happens to be extremely good at (and extremely experienced in) so it works - and some of her poems truly are brilliant; I could read them over and over again, a million times, and never get tired of them. I really enjoyed the introduction in this book; though lengthy, all of the little footnotes containing some of her best lines were really enjoyable and often laugh-out-loud funny. I think I should probably read a biography of her or something next since I love her so much as a person. I'll leave you with this line; it isn't one of her funny ones but I just adore it because it's so blunt and straightforward and unwavering: "I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending."

10. Wasteland - Francesca Lia Block ★★★★

When I read a Francesca Lia Block book for the first time (it was Echo), I was blown away and not only did she become my new favorite author practically overnight but she changed the style of books I was reading completely, much in the same way Tori Amos and Fiona Apple changed my music taste completely. But that was six or seven years ago now and, upon re-reading a few of her books over the past two years, I've come to realize that they just don't quite hold the same magic they used to for me. I still like her a whole lot but I find myself sometimes getting annoyed with her sparse writing style, finding it pedestrian or too childish, and sometimes I want to rip out my hair over the constant changes in narrator, poetry interludes, and seemingly unrelated segments in her books because they convolute the story so much. But then I'll be impressed by some beautifully poetic sentence and she'll win my heart back again. This book, though, was different; I actually appreciated it more this time around. The first time I read it was, I believe, right after it came out so I was probably thirteen or fourteen and since it is one of her most mature books even if it's marketed for young adults, I probably didn't understand it completely. This time, I think I grasped it a lot more. The subject matter - incest - is not a light one and has the potential to be very disturbing, but Francesca's no-nonsense, bare-bones writing style and the innocent tone of the narrator makes it so easy to understand Marina's feelings for her brother and even accept them without much apprehension. And there were some passages, especially the ones from Lex's journal, that were just to die for. Take this for instance:

Little sister, the night broke. The thunder cracked my brain finally. The rain is coming, I promise you. I didn't mean to but your tears will bring life back. Purple flowers grow, the color blood looks in the veins. They'll sprout out of my chest. I promise you they'll crack the ground, grow over the freeways, down the slopes to the sea. I'll be in their faces. I'll be in the waves, coming down on you from the sky. I'll be inside the one who holds you.

And then I won't be.

I mean, my God, it's just so unbelievably beautiful and heartwrenching. Especially those last two sentences - I've been haunted by those words ever since the first time I read this, they're that good. "I'll be inside the one who holds you. And then I won't be." It's both devastating and freeing at the same time and it just breaks my little heart.

Honestly, though, despite how much I enjoyed the book, the main thing I was left thinking after I finished was that I really need to school myself some more on T.S. Eliot. The excerpts from "The Waste Land" and the whole of "Marina" that were included were the best parts in the entire book, seriously. I've gone back and read "Marina" a dozen times by now because it's so lovely.

11. To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf ★★★

I really really wanted to love this. I was sure that I would love this... but I didn't. At first, I completely hated it; the first forty pages or so were one of the most tedious, unenjoyable reading experiences I've ever had - everything just seemed way too wordy and convoluted, I had trouble figuring out who was thinking what at times, and I just could not focus at all. I almost gave up on it at that point and I never stop without finishing even if the book's no good - I just can't do it; I have to know what happens. So I forced myself to keep on and it started to get better. What it was, really, is that I think I just got used to the writing style and so it got a lot less confusing and difficult to comprehend. So by the end, I was liking it a lot more and it ended up not being a huge waste of time, but I was still rather disappointed. Maybe it's just not the right Virginia Woolf novel for me. I still have two others waiting on my shelf for me so we shall see - though I think it'll be awhile before I attempt one since I had such a rough time with this one.

12. Kafka on the Shore - Haruki Murakami ★★★★½

A lot of weird and confusing things happen in this book so I'm not sure I understand all of its concepts completely, but I still loved it. I loved the characters and I loved how surreal and mythical it was without totally leaving the real world behind. Sometimes, books that are completely set in some magical, unbelievable world are hard for me to get as into (though, as always, there are exceptions) but I really enjoy ones that have a lot of those qualities while still remaining rooted in reality. Sure, a bunch of crazy, hard-to-believe things happen to these characters but in the end, they're still humans with human problems and human flaws and human emotions and those are the reasons why the craziness is so easy to accept as normal. The only negative thing I'm going to say is that maybe the book was a little overlong but I could just think that because I was reading it pretty slowly and for quite a long time. I think that if I would've read it more quickly instead of reading a couple of chapters a day or whatever, it wouldn't have seemed as long to me, so that's not really much of a complaint.

13. Vile Bodies - Evelyn Waugh ★★★★★

This was so so so good and so hilarious, too. I was worried I would be let down by it but thankfully, I was not at all. Though I do wish, if I had known more about them beforehand, that I would have read the book before I watched the movie based on it. Only because most of the dialogue in the movie is lifted directly from the book, word for word, so at times it felt like I was simply reading its script - though, admittedly, a very good and much more elaborate script. I still found all of the movie's funniest parts funny here and every time I came across another exchange from the movie, I was delighted because I was afraid that it was something that wouldn't actually be in the book - you know how much they alter movies most of the time, after all (I was especially floored when the "I see... I said, I see" conversation came up because, for some reason, I was positive that wouldn't be here - and it was still hilarious in print... oh and also, when Ginger confronts Adam: "Well, look here, damn it, I mean" and the way he just keeps rambling on without making any sense - loooove!). I only have two complaints about the differences between the two. First of all, I really wish the whole section with Nina and Adam (in place of Ginger) going to her father's for Christmas was in the movie because it was so freaking hilarious - her father not recognizing Adam and bad-mouthing him to his face because of that, the whole ordeal with the movie he financed, everything about that chapter was insanely amusing. And on the other side of the spectrum, I don't know how I feel about the shiny happy ending tacked onto the movie, but I did rather enjoy the visual of the drunk Major going to his vehicle and getting blown up right after writing Adam a check more than I enjoyed him not getting blown up in the book. But this is a minor quibble.

Anyway, this book was a much lighter and quicker read than Brideshead Revisited which I appreciated. It was nice to read something shallow and frothy compared to my usual darker and more taxing fare. And I can still safely say that I adore both the book and the film, though for completely different reasons than I love Brideshead in both formats. I love the Brideshead film mostly for you-know-who and it actually grows off of me the more I think about it or watch it again. But, even though I've only watched Bright Young Things twice (though I just got the DVD, yay!), I can already tell that it's much more repeatedly enjoyable than Brideshead. It doesn't alter too much from the book, only small things apart from the ending, and it's just so damn hilarious. Anyway, I want to read this book again after I've read Decline and Fall because, while this isn't a sequel, they apparently have a lot of the same characters and Waugh himself says at the beginning of Vile Bodies that it may be better comprehended if you've read that one as well, so I'm going to acquire that soon and then read both.

Re-read: Still perfect. I can't decide whether I like this or Brideshead Revisited better though. This is definitely funnier and much lighter and I think, of the two, it's the one I'd want to keep going back to in the future. But Brideshead has Sebastian and he is one of my favorite characters ever, period; because of that, it does get a little dull in the second half after he's gone (though some of the most humorous scenarios are in the second half, too!). Still, it's a difficult choice and I refuse to make it.

14. Willful Creatures - Aimee Bender ★★★★

This was better than An Invisible Sign of My Own but not as good as The Girl in the Flammable Skirt, in my opinion. There were a few stories that I couldn't really get into but I loved most of them. My favorites were "End of the Line", "Off", "Fruit and Words" (I think this was my very favorite - so quirky and clever), "I Will Pick Out Your Ribs (From My Teeth)" (my other favorite - extremely sad but not sappy at all), "Ironhead" (oh God, this was super good too), "Dearth", and "The Leading Man" - okay, that's like half the book. I just wish I had half the imagination she does. I have no idea how she comes up with some of these kooky ideas - a baby born with an iron (as in what you'd find on an ironing board) as its head (to pumpkin-headed parents no less), a woman who sells words made out of their actual substance (as in blood spelled out with blood, nut out of nuts, etc.), a boy with keys for fingers that can open doors around the world, a woman who adopts potatoes that keep magically appearing in her kitchen as her children - but they somehow work and are totally relatable no matter how off-the-wall they are. I want to be inside of her head, seriously. This was also a very quick read, which I always appreciate. Her writing style is very light-hearted and humorous (there are often little throwaway lines that don't add much to the overall story but are totally hilarious and come out of nowhere) and simple and just a joy to read. I find that this is the type of writing that gets to me the most - hers, Miranda July's, Lorrie Moore's, etc. Of course I appreciate and love so many styles of writing but this sparse, conversational, almost lazy and nonchalant style is what most appeals to me and immediately draws me in, I guess because it's so instantly relatable.

15. Birds of America - Lorrie Moore ★★★½

This is definitely not as good as Anagrams. I was actually only going to rate it three stars but all of the best stories ended up being at the end - the last four or so bumped the rating up a notch though they still don't touch Anagrams for me. I don't know. You can definitely tell that she matured a lot as a writer between that book (which was published in 1986) and this one (1998) but I think I kind of like her more pedestrian early style better. It's just a lot easier to relate to for me and, I don't know, there's kind of a magic to its simpleness that's hard to explain. And she's still got that simpleness - it's not like she's all of a sudden developed some pretentious, overly wordy writing style - but it just didn't have the same effect on me. And it might also have to do with the fact that Anagrams was the first thing I read by her and I seem to often hold a special connection to the first thing I read/hear/see of someone even if I realize that it's not technically their best work. Anyway, like I said, the last few stories were ace and the rest of them weren't bad but they didn't really do much for me emotionally. The best one, without a doubt, was "People Like That Are the Only People Here" which was just completely devastating and beautiful and very nearly as good as Anagrams; it was heartbreaking but also strangely uplifting. In a distant second but second nonetheless was "Great Mother". And these are actually the final two stories so the most important thing to remember with this? Stick with it until the end and you will be rewarded. Or, if you can't, just skip to those two stories because they are amazing.

16. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood ★★★★★

I was slightly reluctant to begin this book because I've heard so many good things about it and I didn't exactly love the other Margaret Atwood books I've read. I didn't hate them but they aren't something I would ever want to tackle again either; Alias Grace was a bit bland and not really my cup of tea topic-wise while The Blind Assassin was good (especially the last third or so of it) but way - at least a couple hundred pages - too long. So I was afraid this one would leave me feeling similarly underwhelmed. However, it's pretty near perfect. Basically, it tells the story of America in the near future (which would actually be about now; the book was written in the '80s), when it has been transformed into Gilead, a dystopian totalitarian society created by extreme Christian right-wingers where women are inferior to men, all people are heavily oppressed, everything is censored and watched by those in charge, and life is generally miserable and regimented. The narrator is a handmaid, a woman whose sole purpose in life is to pretty much be a womb for hire to the more prominent men in society if their wives (or them - though this thought is considered treacherous) are infertile; she is only referred to as Offred ("Of Fred", Fred being the man who owns her) and lives an even more sheltered and strict life than any other type of woman in this new society. And there are about a million other aspects I could discuss, too, but that would take forever and be even more confusing. This plotline could easily come across as heavy-handed and over-the-top but Atwood's writing style makes it so believable - which makes it even more frightening; you actually think for a few minutes that this could really happen. Yes, her writing is absolutely beautiful; even in the other two books I've read of hers I realized this despite the fact that they didn't do much for me story-wise. Each sentence, even the simplest and shortest ones (and especially  these), is so poetic and filled with so many different emotions all at once, it's absolutely stunning. I would quote a line or two but it'd take me all day to pick out just one that stands out - nearly every line is worthy of being read five or ten times in a row because it's just so eloquent. You really get sucked into this world, no matter how cruel and bleak; it is described so beautifully you just can't help it. Once I got about halfway through this and it really started to get going, I just did not want to put it down. At the same time, I never wanted it to end, either.

I only have a few small complaints. First of all, the ending. I'd been warned that the ending was kind of stupid. Not the actual ending, as in where Offred's story ends. Yes, that ending is frustrating and unsatisfying but it's also kind of perfect in a way. The story itself is so dark and mysterious that it definitely can't end happily yet it also never lets go of that small glimmer of hope and so can't end on a completely depressing note either. The ambiguous cliff-hanger ending is the most appropriate one there can be no matter how much it makes me want to rip my hair out and know exactly what happened. No, the stupid part is the "historical notes" that follow, a supposed speech about Gilead thousands of years later that comes across as rather silly and unnecessary and kind of ruins the whole book's mood to me. So I'm just going to pretend it doesn't exist because it doesn't really shed much light on anything anyway. My other complaint is that I would've liked to know more about exactly how this society came to be and about Offred's life before she became, well, Offred. On the other hand, I think that vagueness is part of what makes the novel so effective, too; you aren't handed every single detail but instead left to fill in the blanks yourself which makes you feel like an even deeper part of the book and urges you to read on so that you can attempt to piece the puzzle together in a way that makes sense. So that's not really a complaint. Just me being selfish and wanting to dig into every aspect of the story from every perspective, which is actually a sign of me completely adoring a book - if I want to know everything about it, I definitely loved it. And speaking of wanting to know everything, it killed me that there was so little revealed about her daughter and her husband. I just wanted to know what happened to them (well, we do find out what happens to her daughter, in the most vague sense possible) even if it was terrible. But anyway, it's still dangerously close to perfection as is. And the silly speech at the end isn't substantial enough to reduce the rating so five stars all the way, baby.

17. Nine Stories - J.D. Salinger ★★★½

Hmm... I was fairly disappointed by this as a whole considering all of the extremely positive things I've heard about it so, in some ways, I feel that this rating is too high. On the other hand, the stories I enjoyed, I really enjoyed and I feel like if I rate it any lower I'm doing those pieces a disservice. But, overall, I can't say I was left with much of an impression - positive or negative - after finishing this. I mean, it's Salinger so of course the writing is engaging and generally fantastic, but I feel like these stories are just way too short to really offer much insight into the characters and why they make the decisions they do and this leads me to not care much about them at all. Salinger's work in general seems to lean more toward character studies than an extremely developed plot (or any plot at all, really) and that just doesn't work as much in a short story format for me; I need a lot more information to really understand and identify with and care about a character. Of course this isn't always the case and I'd rather talk about the positive than the negative anyway. I loved "A Perfect Day for Bananafish" (I think it's practically sacrilege not to like this one though), "Just Before the War with the Eskimos", and especially "De Daumier-Smith's Blue Period". I think I would probably love "For Esme - with Love and Squalor" if I read it again but I was extremely distracted and in a bit of a hurry at the time so I only kind of liked it. And I was kind of annoyed by the precociousness of "Teddy" up until the ending which was unexpected and chilling and evil and totally brilliant. The rest of the stories weren't bad or anything, they just did absolutely nothing for me and I wouldn't really want to read them again anytime soon. Anyway, I liked both Franny and Zooey and The Catcher in the Rye more than the majority of this but it's still worthwhile.

18. Looking for Alaska - John Green ★★★★

It's been awhile since I've read anything specifically marketed for young adults. I just get kind of fed up with them after awhile because they tend to all start to sound the same even if they're about different things. And I guess I just like books to affect me more profoundly. Not that YA books can't be profound and moving - they often are - but, I don't know, a really good YA novel just doesn't give me the same sense of fulfillment or quite blow my mind the way a really good adult novel does. I realize this is an extremely unfair generalization to make but I just can't put this feeling into words. Anyway, that being said, this was actually a great book - an exceptional one, really (though the comparisons of Miles to Holden Caulfield are slightly hyperbolic in my opinion). It's just... I don't know... it's hard for me to decide how much of an impact it actually had on me. It was a really light read, which was both a welcome change and rather frustrating at times. For the first hundred pages or so, I thought it was hilarious but I was worried about how light its tone was considering the very heavy events that I knew were coming up in the second half of the book. The shift to a darker tone actually happened rather naturally but there were times I just wished it would go a bit deeper, be a bit more emotional, you know? But I guess a book written from the point of view of a 16 or 17-year-old high schooler isn't exactly going to be as stirring and mature as a book written from, say, a 30-year-old's POV. Maybe I'm just too old for these kinds of books now (at the ripe old age of 19). There were a few passages that really got to me, mostly this one: "...It was just the three of us - three bodies and two people - the three who knew what had happened and too many layers between all of us, too much keeping us from one another." It doesn't seem quite so moving out-of-context but I'll admit, that combined with the following dialogue had me trying really hard not to bawl like a baby. But anyway, point is, it was good, just... unfulfilling? too carefree? I don't know. Just something about it kept me from absolutely loving it. However, the characters were really well-developed (though I'm still not sure I understand Alaska completely; she seemed way unbalanced though I think that's the point) and it was funny so I would recommend it. Oh, also, I try not to nitpick too much about things like this and I've never been to boarding school (while the author has), but their school just seemed waaaaaay too lax and casual to me and they got away with way too much. I mean, it made for some pretty amusing situations, but it seemed totally unrealistic to me. But who knows? I sure don't. So I'm willing to let it slide.

19. The Collected Poems: 1909-1962 - T.S. Eliot ★★★½

This is probably closer to four than three and a half but whatever. I don't really get much enjoyment out of reading a book of poetry like a novel (so why do I? I'm not sure... I guess I just like to take everything in at once and then get around to nit-picking at them later). It's hard to really dig deep into a poem and truly decide whether you like it or not when you're reading them one after another without going back and without much of a break between each. So I imagine I'll be going back and re-reading certain parts of this many times in the future, especially considering I have no clue what he's going on about most of the time to even have the smallest grasp on most of these poems after one read-through. Anyway, as for first impressions, I was very impressed by quite a few of these, especially the ones in the earlier part of the book (which I guess are probably the earlier written ones too) and most of the long ones, The Waste Land (of course!) and The Hollow Men most notably. He just has such a beautiful way with words that I don't even care if I don't quite understand what he's getting at. I started to get a bit "eh" the further into the book I got though; however, that might be partially due to the fact that I've been having a hard time reading anything lately. Also I really fucking hated the choruses from "The Rock" and found it nearly impossible to get through them because they were so damn Christian-y and God-filled. But that's personal preference and it seems that play was written specifically for some church so the incredibly preachy content is understandable. But still, ugh. Anyway, basically, the best poems were those that had already been published and the worst were the random ones that weren't a part of any collection, which isn't surprising. So those ones are the reason this rating isn't higher; the rest are worth five stars definitely.

20. The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera ★★★½

I liked this book overall but I think I kind of liked it less as I got further in. I really enjoyed it when it was just a story about two people and their changing feelings for each other. The philosophical ramblings I was bored by and after awhile kind of put my brain on autopilot while reading them. And it also got very political near the end and I didn't enjoy that so much either. I just like reading about peoples' lives, not about all these complex theories and hypotheses on why things happen. But that's just my personal preference; I'm very picky about what I like in a book and what I don't. I'm also not sure how I like the idea of the author injecting his own voice/thoughts into the novel. It just kind of took me out of the story a little bit every time he said "I". I just prefer a story to be completely in its own little world; it distracts me when the author shows up to tell us how he feels about certain things every once in awhile. But overall it was a good read, just not as good as I'd been lead to believe. However, I'm often underwhelmed by books that are considered classic; I guess I'd just rather be able to totally form my own opinions instead of be told how amazing or terrible something is in advance.

21. Wise Blood - Flannery O'Connor ★★★★★

This is one of those books that I've excessively hyped up in my own mind; I was so convinced that I would like it that I would've been crushed had I not. Luckily, I did love it. Immensely. I adequately enjoy most books that I read these days because I usually do lots of researching on them beforehand until I convince myself that they're something worth spending my money and time on but it's been awhile since I've truly adored one and been sucked completely into it; this is the first book I've really felt invested in emotionally in quite some time. The only problem is I can't quite figure out why that is. I mean, sure, the plot and characters are engaging, the writing is quality, etc., etc. but those are things I look for in all books; I can't quite place my finger on that one unique quality that makes this better than anything else but it's there. I guess it's just got this atmosphere, this kind of aura surrounding it - everything is painted in your mind so well that you feel like you're right there in the middle of it. It's alive. That's what it is. Really truly alive. It's also interesting that as the characters grow more desperate and the situations crazier and more over-the-top, the tone of the story turns much darker and depressing. In the beginning, it's fairly light-hearted - black but humorously so - but by the end, despite every twist the plot takes becoming more and more unbelievable, the story actually becomes more believable because it's sold to you so matter-of-fact and dryly. You can kind of feel the story become blacker and blacker as you read on which I think is pretty neat. The only thing I was skeptical about at first was that a lot of the dialogue is written in deep Southern dialect and I usually find that more annoying than helpful (Huckleberry Finn, anyone? I had a hell of a time getting through that though it was also likely just because I found it boring.) but soon enough, surprisingly, I actually found myself glad it was there. I think a tiny part of my enjoyment of this book was due to me giving all the characters heavy Southern accents in my head as I read it - seriously. Anyway, yes, awesomeness and I can't wait to read more of her stuff. Here is one of my favorite passages (and one of the funniest) to show you what I cannot accurately describe:

"Do you read the papers?" she asked.
"No," he said.
"Well, there's this woman in it named Mary Brittle that tells you what to do when you don't know. I wrote her a letter and ast her what I was to do."
"How could you be a bastard when he blinded him..." he started again.
"I says, 'Dear Mary, I am a bastard and a bastard shall not enter the kingdom of heaven as we all know, but I have this personality that makes boys follow me. Do you think I should neck or not? I shall not enter the kingdom of heaven anyway so I don't see what difference it makes.'"
"Listen here," Haze said, "if he blinded himself how..."
"Then she answered my letter in the paper. She said, 'Dear Sabbath, Light necking is acceptable, but I think your real problem is one of adjustment to the modern world. Perhaps you ought to re-examine your religious values to see if they meet your needs in Life. A religious experience can be a beauitful addition to living if you put it in the proper perspective and do not let it warf you. Read some books on Ethical Culture.'"
"You couldn't be a bastard," Haze said, getting very pale. "You must be mixed up. Your daddy blinded himself."
"Then I wrote her another letter," she said, scratching his ankle with the toe of her sneaker, and smiling, "I says, 'Dear Mary, What I really want to know is should I go the whole hog or not? That's my real problem. I'm adjusted okay to the modern world.'"
"Your daddy blinded himself," Haze repeated.
"He wasn't always as good as he is now," she said. "She never answered my second letter."

22. Ariel (The Restored Edition) - Sylvia Plath ★★★★★

The poems in here are easily her best and I think most anyone would agree with that. I love almost all of her poetry but her earlier stuff often comes across as very stiff and calculated and while these poems were probably labored over just as much - and each word does feel like it was chosen with as much care as possible; no syllable is wasted and each is essential to the poem's beauty - they also have a certain wild spontaneity to them, a visceral, raw quality that makes them so much more fulfilling and emotionally resonant. All of my favorites are in this collection: "Ariel", "Lady Lazarus", "A Birthday Present", "Tulips", "The Applicant", "Lesbos", "Daddy"... I think I'm probably in a happier place now than I was when I first discovered her poetry so they don't quite hit me like they did at one point but I still find them so admirable for their devastating and often sinister beauty. Reading one of these is like a punch in the gut but you can't help going back to them again and again. The images she paints just floor me and she always seems to choose the perfect words for optimal emotional impact; if I could write like anyone, I would want to be able to write like she did. I haven't read these in awhile and this time around, I was really struck by just how bleak and naked and honest some of them are; "Lesbos" especially comes to mind - that one is so volatile and frank and really rather shocking. In the back of this edition, there's a transcript of a BBC radio showcase of some of the poems and at the beginning, she says that these were written more for the ears than the eyes which I think is rather true. They really come alive when spoken aloud and I often find myself whispering along whenever I read one of them. God, I love her.

"If you only knew how the veils were killing my days.
To you they are only transparencies, clear air.

But my god, the clouds are like cotton -
Armies of them. They are carbon monoxide.

Sweetly, sweetly I breathe in,
Filling my veins with invisibles, with the million

Probable motes that tick the years off my life."

- A Birthday Present

23. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov ★★★½

Hmm. I am having very conflicting feelings about this novel at the moment. On the one hand, I found that it was a very fulfilling read - the language was beautiful, the central characters were engaging, the plot was convoluted and complicated (which I both loved and hated). On the other hand, I also found it very frustrating and tedious at times - so much happened yet I almost felt like nothing happened; there were plenty of moments that could've been intense and thrilling but they weren't - they just happened without any change in tone, so blasély. I guess that kind of fits the personality of the main character (by the way, every time I saw the name Humbert Humbert, it just reminded me of Pushing Daisies: Charles Charles, Boutique Travel Travel Boutique, Darling Mermaid Darlings, etc.) but I was left wanting more - more emotion, more action, more something. Mostly I feel like this is one of those books you don't start to truly appreciate until after you've finished it. I wasn't particularly attached to the story while I was reading it but hours later, I find myself still thinking a lot about it. To me, it feels like the kind of book I don't necessarily immediately want to tackle again, but a few months or even years later I'll find myself thinking out of nowhere, "Wow, I really want to revisit that." So for now, it's just somewhere between good and amazing; this could very likely change in the future. Someday, when I'm feeling ambitious, I'll re-read this and look up all of the French phrases to figure out their meaning since I only knew what about 1% of them meant and there were a lot. Or the annotated edition might actually be a better idea. Either way, I definitely feel like all of the French references, among others, are rather vital to the book as a whole and most of them went way over my head. I'll let my thoughts about this settle for a few months and then maybe I'll want to come back to it again.

Also, I found the author's note at the end shockingly interesting; I usually read that kind of stuff with glazed-over eyes but his really resonated with me. I especially enjoyed this criticism - "Their refusal to buy the book was based not on my treatment of the theme but on the theme itself, for there are at least three themes which are utterly taboo as far as most American publishers are concerned. The two others are: a Negro-White marriage which is a complete and glorious success resulting in lots of children and grandchildren; and the total atheist who lives a happy and useful life, and dies in his sleep at the age of 106." - which made me chuckle and roll my eyes simultaneously. I also loved his statements about how he doesn't write to make some grand statement or teach some lesson but just because he has this story that's itching to get out of his head and that just because a book is depressing (or anything else) doesn't automatically mean the author is depressed (or what have you). 100% agree.

24. The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter - Carson McCullers ★★★★★

Oh my God. This was an insanely beautiful book. I'll admit, for the first hundred pages or so, I thought the writing was lovely but I was kind of waiting impatiently for something a bit more exciting to happen. By the time I got halfway through though, I was completely in love, and I finished the last 100+ pages in one go because I just couldn't bear to put it down; I had to finish the story right then and there because I was so engrossed in it. The character I was most interested in at first was Jake Blount, I think because his rants reminded me of Hazel Motes in Wise Blood and I had just finished that book and loved it, but as I got further into the story, I found that he remained rather one-note which got a bit annoying. So my favorite character about halfway through became Mick; I thought the chapters focused on her were the most well-written, as far as character development and growth goes - by the end of the book, I really felt like I knew her inside and out and had watched her transform from a child to a woman over the course of it. The rise and fall of the relationship between she and Harry was especially well-developed and written; and it was so sad when Mick forced herself to grow up and left her music behind. Then when Singer died, it didn't really hit me until I read Mick's reaction; the reactions of everyone else had been kind of matter-of-fact and brief but hers was so brimming with grief and confusion, it was just devastating. Though I probably would have been more affected by it if I hadn't already had a gut feeling about Singer's suicide before it happened; I kind of knew throughout the entire book - but especially in his final chapter - that something was going to happen to Antonapolous and Singer just wouldn't be able to bear life without him in it; he loved Antonapolous so much that it was just kind of inevitible for me. So I wasn't exactly surprised by his death - even though I was really hoping I was wrong about my prediction - but it was still terribly sad. Anyway, this was just an amazing journey and, by the end, I didn't really want to leave the characters behind even though I had no choice. I would recommend this book to anybody.

25. An Abundance of Katherines - John Green ★★★★½

I really needed to read something rather light and frivolous after tackling so many heavy-ish novels over the past few weeks; I was pretty emotionally drained and needed something that I didn't have to think too hard about and this fit the bill perfectly. And when I say it's light and frivolous, understand that those aren't bad things; it's a very good book, it's just not extremely deep or profound, which is fine. I enjoyed this more than Looking for Alaska by a pretty wide margin - it was funnier, by far, and there wasn't this weird disconnect where the first half was extremely light-hearted and the second extremely depressing like there was in Alaska, plus I felt like the characters were a lot more complex and likable (half the characters in Alaska kind of seemed like assholes to me). I would give it five stars but, come on, I just gave The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter five stars and this is really nowhere close to that league so I would feel weird giving it the same rating, even if it's based on different merits. Also, it gets a few negative points for being rather predictable; I knew from the first time Lindsey was introduced that she and Colin would end up together. But honestly, I didn't really care about the predictability when it was so damn hilarious; seriously, I laughed so much. I have a hard time believing that most teenagers in real life are as witty and clever as the ones in this book but I don't care - interesting dialogue is more important than realistic dialogue. Speaking of dialogue, I was kind of annoyed with the use of "fug" instead of "fuck" at first but then it was explained partway through and it turns out it was actually a pretty clever and tongue-in-cheek reference so then I was okay with it. Anyway, this book was like crack. Nothing particularly exciting or intense happened but regardless I just couldn't put it down! I read it almost all in one go, literally staying up until the wee hours of the morning to finish. It was a nice distraction from all things "meaningful" and "life-changing" and now I totally want a Colin for myself; he seemed so adorably nerdy. Speaking of, I also find it kind of hard to believe that he was the most unpopular kid ever and only had one friend in the world, yet managed to hook himself nineteen (okay, technically eighteen) different girlfriends named Katherine. How does that work out? And, oh yeah, the footnotes - could've been really tedious and pretentious but they worked very well and didn't retract from my enjoyment of the book at all. In fact, they kind of convinced me that every author who uses obscure references and/or foreign languages in their books should include footnotes to explain them for lazy readers like me who can't be arsed to look them up themselves. Isn't that a good idea? I think I just wrote more about this than the Carson McCullers; egads.