Newbury Legacy: 9.1
Nov. 30th, 2009 12:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stillonmystringLast time: Elliott gave birth to a son, Caleb, and Morgan gave birth to a daughter, June, nearly simultaneously. However, Morgan neglected her own child to take care of Elliott's while Elliott continued to be completely batshit insane. And that's about it.
Oh yeah, Jack and Robbie also both brought home TEH SICKNESS and are spreading it around to the rest of the family. Lovely.
And look who've grown up into toddlers already!
Aren't they just the cutest?!? Yes, they most definitely are.
Caleb is not a fan of the subject matter his mother has chosen to read to him about.
And I don't think Jack's having a very successful go of it either.
Caleb & June: "WE ARE ONLY BABIES BUT WE NEEEEEEED TO GET UP THERE! CURSE THESE
UNCLIMBABLE STAIRS AND OUR INADEQUATELY SIZED LIMBS!"
As it turns out, I had rather stupidly placed the activity table up there while their rooms were downstairs. This was quickly revised to quell the constant annoying whining.
As you can see, this family's parenting skills are as commendable as ever! Umm... little child crawling precariously close to the ocean. Someone please take notice now.
Oh, but it's all good - he just wanted to boogie down with his bad self.
Since her own parents seem to prefer their nephew over their actual daughter, Robbie has decided to call June his favorite grandchild.
If only you had been this good with your own children! Imagine how much more well-adjusted (and less psychotic) they might have turned out.
And just in case you had any doubts, he and Gemma are still keeping the love alive, even in their final years.
He is also still a little too crazy over the slap dance and starts breaking it down at every opportunity. And it seems his impressive parenting skills only extend to June, since he seems to have no qualms whatsoever about drowning out his daughter's piano-playing with the radio.
Gemma: "So, dear, tell me, are you and my son still sexually active? You know, the first sign of a marriage going bad is a lack of activity in bed!"
Morgan: "Whoa, hold on, I do not think I want to go there with you."
Gemma: "Oh, come on, this is a completely natural and healthy topic to discuss. You should not be ashamed at all. Now spill, girl!"
In more pressing issues, it's birthday time again:
Major <3333333.
And one, two, three.... PANDEMONIUM!
Told you so.
June: "Dad?... Why are you giving him a kiss? I'm your daughter! Pay attention to meeeee!"
Jack: "How dare you try to talk to me, young man! And that kiss was entirely unacceptable, you hear?"
Real convincing way to save face, Jack. We all know how badly you wish he was yours.
I AM SHOCKED, SHOCKED, I TELL YOU! WHERE WERE THESE TENDER, LOVING MOTHERLY MOMENTS WHEN YOU HAD YOUR OWN KIDS TO RAISE?!?
Well, this isn't awkward... not at all. (I just realized Nolan has been absent this update until now. Hey Nolan!)
WHO IS MORE ADORABLE?!? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DECIDE!
PEDO BUS DRIVER ALERT! No one should be that happy to be driving a bunch of obnoxious kids home from school, no one.
JUNE, DON'T WAVE AT HIM, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! THAT'LL ONLY PROVOKE HIM! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
I can't help it. Their faces when they check their grades (especially when they're not acceptable) are unbearably cute.
Kids who actually put their homework on the appropriate desks?!? I think I've just died and gone to Sim heaven!
Do: Engage in a pleasant game of catch with your son after he gets home from school.
Don't: Ignore your child and spend the entire day sunbathing instead.
Take notes, guys, there will be a test later.
Holy shit, Nolan! Either you got abducted by aliens while I wasn't looking or you've developed one hell of an impressive beer belly. Whichever it is, whoa.
I was going to say Caleb inherited his father's love of the dance... but then I realized that Jack isn't actually his father. Though he might as well be, considering how often he and Morgan continually try to steal him away from his actual parents.
June would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that she is just as adorable as her cousin, even without the coveted redhead gene, by jumping on the bed and being ridiculously cute in general.
Geez, she makes my heart go to jelly by just sitting there. (But, um, you might want to keep your legs closed, darling, that skirt isn't exactly made for cross-legged sitting.)
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, INFERNO!
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WHAT ARE ALL OF YOU DOING OUT THERE?!?
Fuck! Idiots, all of you, you're all fucking idiots! If any of you die, I am not saving you, you understand? I did not tell you to run outside and scream your heads off in the middle of the blaze so it's not my fault if you decided to.
OMG SERIOUSLY JACK?!? DO YOU SERIOUSLY WANT TO BURN TO DEATH FOR THE SECOND TIME IN YOUR LIFE??? BECAUSE I WILL NOT BRING YOU BACK THIS TIME, FOOL!
Nolan, no! You should have been the last to go! I mean, you had an extra layer of body fat protecting you and everything! OMG IS THIS EVER GOING TO END?!? OR WILL THE ENTIRE FAMILY HAVE TO PERISH FIRST?
Finally, Gemma, who was the only one smart enough to STAY IN THE FUCKING HOUSE, got around to calling the fire department to put everybody and everything out.
YEAH GUYS, ALMOST BURNING TO DEATH IS NOT EXACTLY THE MOST PLEASANT EXPERIENCE IN THE WORLD! DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE JUST REALIZING THAT?!?
Gemma: "Oh God, my beautiful yard, ruined!"
Robbie: "Oh God, my pants and the bathroom floor, soiled!"
Robbie: *zzzzZZZZZzzzzzzz*
Elliott: "Oh God, my husband, DEAD!"
I did feel really sorry for her for about ten minutes and considered bringing him back but, if you hadn't noticed from the fact that he didn't even show up until halfway through this update, Nolan was actually rather boring and I wasn't attached to him at all. So that's that. Damn. What a depressing note to end things on.
Oh yeah, Jack and Robbie also both brought home TEH SICKNESS and are spreading it around to the rest of the family. Lovely.
And look who've grown up into toddlers already!
Aren't they just the cutest?!? Yes, they most definitely are.
Caleb is not a fan of the subject matter his mother has chosen to read to him about.
And I don't think Jack's having a very successful go of it either.
Caleb & June: "WE ARE ONLY BABIES BUT WE NEEEEEEED TO GET UP THERE! CURSE THESE
UNCLIMBABLE STAIRS AND OUR INADEQUATELY SIZED LIMBS!"
As it turns out, I had rather stupidly placed the activity table up there while their rooms were downstairs. This was quickly revised to quell the constant annoying whining.
As you can see, this family's parenting skills are as commendable as ever! Umm... little child crawling precariously close to the ocean. Someone please take notice now.
Oh, but it's all good - he just wanted to boogie down with his bad self.
Since her own parents seem to prefer their nephew over their actual daughter, Robbie has decided to call June his favorite grandchild.
If only you had been this good with your own children! Imagine how much more well-adjusted (and less psychotic) they might have turned out.
And just in case you had any doubts, he and Gemma are still keeping the love alive, even in their final years.
He is also still a little too crazy over the slap dance and starts breaking it down at every opportunity. And it seems his impressive parenting skills only extend to June, since he seems to have no qualms whatsoever about drowning out his daughter's piano-playing with the radio.
Gemma: "So, dear, tell me, are you and my son still sexually active? You know, the first sign of a marriage going bad is a lack of activity in bed!"
Morgan: "Whoa, hold on, I do not think I want to go there with you."
Gemma: "Oh, come on, this is a completely natural and healthy topic to discuss. You should not be ashamed at all. Now spill, girl!"
In more pressing issues, it's birthday time again:
Major <3333333.
And one, two, three.... PANDEMONIUM!
Told you so.
June: "Dad?... Why are you giving him a kiss? I'm your daughter! Pay attention to meeeee!"
Jack: "How dare you try to talk to me, young man! And that kiss was entirely unacceptable, you hear?"
Real convincing way to save face, Jack. We all know how badly you wish he was yours.
I AM SHOCKED, SHOCKED, I TELL YOU! WHERE WERE THESE TENDER, LOVING MOTHERLY MOMENTS WHEN YOU HAD YOUR OWN KIDS TO RAISE?!?
Well, this isn't awkward... not at all. (I just realized Nolan has been absent this update until now. Hey Nolan!)
WHO IS MORE ADORABLE?!? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DECIDE!
PEDO BUS DRIVER ALERT! No one should be that happy to be driving a bunch of obnoxious kids home from school, no one.
JUNE, DON'T WAVE AT HIM, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! THAT'LL ONLY PROVOKE HIM! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
I can't help it. Their faces when they check their grades (especially when they're not acceptable) are unbearably cute.
Kids who actually put their homework on the appropriate desks?!? I think I've just died and gone to Sim heaven!
Do: Engage in a pleasant game of catch with your son after he gets home from school.
Don't: Ignore your child and spend the entire day sunbathing instead.
Take notes, guys, there will be a test later.
Holy shit, Nolan! Either you got abducted by aliens while I wasn't looking or you've developed one hell of an impressive beer belly. Whichever it is, whoa.
I was going to say Caleb inherited his father's love of the dance... but then I realized that Jack isn't actually his father. Though he might as well be, considering how often he and Morgan continually try to steal him away from his actual parents.
June would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that she is just as adorable as her cousin, even without the coveted redhead gene, by jumping on the bed and being ridiculously cute in general.
Geez, she makes my heart go to jelly by just sitting there. (But, um, you might want to keep your legs closed, darling, that skirt isn't exactly made for cross-legged sitting.)
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, INFERNO!
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WHAT ARE ALL OF YOU DOING OUT THERE?!?
Fuck! Idiots, all of you, you're all fucking idiots! If any of you die, I am not saving you, you understand? I did not tell you to run outside and scream your heads off in the middle of the blaze so it's not my fault if you decided to.
OMG SERIOUSLY JACK?!? DO YOU SERIOUSLY WANT TO BURN TO DEATH FOR THE SECOND TIME IN YOUR LIFE??? BECAUSE I WILL NOT BRING YOU BACK THIS TIME, FOOL!
Nolan, no! You should have been the last to go! I mean, you had an extra layer of body fat protecting you and everything! OMG IS THIS EVER GOING TO END?!? OR WILL THE ENTIRE FAMILY HAVE TO PERISH FIRST?
Finally, Gemma, who was the only one smart enough to STAY IN THE FUCKING HOUSE, got around to calling the fire department to put everybody and everything out.
YEAH GUYS, ALMOST BURNING TO DEATH IS NOT EXACTLY THE MOST PLEASANT EXPERIENCE IN THE WORLD! DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE JUST REALIZING THAT?!?
Gemma: "Oh God, my beautiful yard, ruined!"
Robbie: "Oh God, my pants and the bathroom floor, soiled!"
Robbie: *zzzzZZZZZzzzzzzz*
Elliott: "Oh God, my husband, DEAD!"
I did feel really sorry for her for about ten minutes and considered bringing him back but, if you hadn't noticed from the fact that he didn't even show up until halfway through this update, Nolan was actually rather boring and I wasn't attached to him at all. So that's that. Damn. What a depressing note to end things on.
