stillonmystring: (Default)
For myself and for anyone else who wants to read my writing, here is a master list of everything I have posted, since I have to be a confusing bitch and keep a whole separate journal for it. (I'm sorry! But what was I supposed to do, let my Dreamwidth sit around all empty and lonely forever? Pass up the chance to create another completely unnecessary journal account in the first place? Never!) Or, if you'd rather sift through it all yourself (though a possible reason why escapes me), just go straight to the main page. I've tried to keep the tags organized in a way that makes sense as far as easily finding things goes.

Clearly, this is not everything I have ever written. There are a few things I've written I don't even have anymore because they were so godawful. There are also still many things I do have saved but would never in a million years consider letting anyone else see (even if I did let other people see them at the time I wrote them). This includes all of my fan fiction, which I'd rather just forget about altogether, and nearly everything I wrote prior to, say, 2006 with a very few exceptions. I've also yet to go through all of my original short stories and decide if there are any older ones I can actually tolerate anymore so that list may grow a bit longer once I've done so. And of course, I'll also add anything new here too.

stillonmystring: (faster and faster i should run)
So I took a break from writing Swan Dive for a week or two because I wasn't feeling very excited about it. Mostly, I think I just suddenly found the idea of writing whole new chapters ridiculously daunting after focusing on editing and rewriting for so long. I mean, it's a whole lot more intimidating to see a blank page you have to fill up with words than to see a bunch of words already written that just need rearranging and restating in different ways. So, yeah, that was freaking me out for a bit. To conquer it, I decided to stop whining over not being able to finish a chapter I had already started and just work on writing another one instead. This decision was probably the best to make anyway because the chapter I ended up writing is the one that was chronologically meant to come next so I could post it up right away for whoever happens to be reading along. So head on over to the updated Swan Dive master post if you're interested. The last two chapters are the newest, obviously, though thirteen was actually written a long time ago. I just haven't been able to post it until I completed the missing chapters that came before. Now, after these, the next chapter is the one I've been struggling to complete so it might be awhile before another update but, trust me, it will come. I definitely want to be done with this story by the end of the year. I don't want it to end up like this story, where I'm still chipping away at it years later. Honestly... even though I love those characters and want to complete their story in some sense, it's so tiring to me now. For example, that fifth chapter I mentioned several weeks back that only needed a few paragraphs to be done? Yeah, it's still unfinished and I'm not even sure how happy I am with it anymore. Ugh. It's disappointing but I hate to be wasting my time on something I'm no longer passionate about. Sigh.
stillonmystring: (brittany bats her pretty eyelashes)
I've decided I want to write more poems this year since for the past three years I've averaged about five poems overall, which seems a bit pathetic to me. So, anyway, it's basically all I've been doing for the last week or two and I'm not sure if it's because I'm genuinely enjoying it or because I'm just trying to avoid working on my other half-finished projects, probably a combination of both. Anyway, here are some I finished last week. I still have two or three I'm working on, one of which is very nearly finished so will definitely be done sometime soon and the other two are still just vague ideas so I'm not sure if/when they'll be completed. Also, in regards to my bigger writing endeavors, I realized that I have actually added a bit to this story, which started out basically as a way for me to compile a lot of information about Swan Dive's Beatrice in one place so that I could get a better grasp on her character but I'm starting to get really invested in it so who knows where it will actually go or how long it will be. Ideally, I would love to get up to the actual events of Swan Dive and look at them from Beatrice's perspective but I have no idea if I'll ever actually make it there.Anyway, poems now.

In the Light, You Are Mine. Honestly, the origins of this poem can be traced back about a year and a half. It's gone through three major revisions at this point, all of them entirely different from one another. I basically just took the handful of random lines I still liked from each version and re-incorporated them, changing the concept a bit each time, until I was happy with the end result. Actually, this poem was once inspired by a line from the Grammatics song, "Cruel Tricks of the Light," ("Now and every shining time/You were ghostly-eyed and mine") but you can't really tell now. I guess that's a good thing. It's more original.

The Hallway. I wish I could have come up with a more interesting title but, alas, I couldn't think of anything more fitting. But, really, that's the only part of this I don't like. If you can believe it, this one was inspired by a truly terrible poem I wrote way back in 2003 when I was, what, thirteen or fourteen? Anyway, it used such compelling phrases as "herbal shampoo" and "musky cologne" but I liked the title - Out of Touch - and wanted to do it justice now that, in my opinion, my writing is about a thousand percent improved. My favorite part of this one is the last three lines. I find them really quite devastating and beautiful and I don't care if that sounds a bit conceited because it's true.

Bus Stop. This one was very, very loosely inspired by January. Basically, I decided I hate that story now but like some of the description and imagery and the general mood of it. So I stole a few very small bits from it and transplanted them into an entirely new concept. Also, this was my attempt to write something other than a sad love poem, which are all I seem to be writing lately despite the fact that they relate to my own life in absolutely no way.

Now, here, have some Sims!

stillonmystring: (Default)
So I wrote a couple little... poem things yesterday and today. I say "things" because the first one is really, really short: Ticking, Waiting. But those first four lines just came to me very suddenly and I liked them a lot and was afraid to ruin them by trying to force anything more. I already feel like the last three lines don't quite hold up and are obviously more purposefully thought out but oh well. I still like it quite a lot. The second one, Jailbird, is kind of an amalgamation of several poems I tried to write that turned out really badly so I basically took the few good parts and created something new out of them. I wrote this in two chunks of time: the basics of it frantically in the middle of the night and the rest just a couple hours ago. I'm quite happy with it. As for my other writing, I've actually been working on the story that will be finished in about ten years if I keep going at this rate, titled at the moment Mending and Other Lessons in Love. I've almost got chapter five finished, woohoo! So I'm going to try and complete that soon. It really only needs a few more paragraphs. Then the next chapter or two will be quite easy to put together because I've already got some stuff written from forever ago. As for my NaNo story, Swan Dive, I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment and can't seem to write anything more than basic outline details/dialogue with no description. I just can't seem to make myself sit down and actually write anything properly even though I've got about a million parts I could start on. Anyway. That's all.

P.S. Everyone needs to listen to these songs. So fucking good.

(Also "Sadness Is a Blessing" but there aren't any videos of the studio version on Youtube.)
stillonmystring: (Default)
1. I've been (finally) posting my albums of 2010 list over at my music blog for the past few days. Check it out here if you are so inclined. I've still yet to post my number one but that will be coming sometime tomorrow, probably early in the day as there's really no point in holding it back since, to me, it's very obvious anyway.

2. I haven't really been good about mentioning it here but I've also been posting bits of the novel I started during NaNoWriMo, Swan Dive, over at my Dreamwidth. (I know, I have too many journals to keep up with.) As far as the chapters go, the ones that have no date beside them I pretty much haven't touched since I first wrote them back in November, the ones that say "updated" have been edited/vastly improved and "new" means, obviously, that they are newly written. I've basically just been adding them as I go along but I haven't written much apart from outline notes in a week or two. I'm going to try to get back into the real thing soon.

3. I am SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW ELECTED ALBUM, HOLY SHIT! I had honestly resigned myself at some point last year to the fact that it was never going to happen so the news basically blew my mind. So unexpected! I really hope Blake can still deliver the goods after so long. Truthfully, though, I have more faith in him than Jenny at this point. After all, he did write one of the best songs on Under the Blacklight and it was also just about the only song that sounded like it was written in more than ten minutes lyrics-wise. So I'm not too concerned. Plus he's been silent for so damn long he must be sitting on a masterpiece by now.

4. I am going to be posting a few of these one after the other in quick succession in an attempt to get reasonably caught up to where I am now (which isn't going to happen because I'm playing as I'm posting, haha). So... enjoy or scroll past, your choice.


Feb. 17th, 2011 12:02 am
stillonmystring: (faster and faster i should run)
I forgot to mention in my earlier post that Janelle was totally robbed. I can't believe The ArchAndroid lost to Usher's album. Usher is way past his prime at this point and wasn't even ever that great to start out with. He is also responsible for inflicting Bieber on the world and teaming up with him to give one of the crappiest performances of the night. Therefore, Janelle clearly should have won.

Also, these were the .GIFs I meant to post earlier. The first one represents my feelings on the subject of that post and is also just the goddamn cutest thing I've ever seen in my entire life so I'll use any excuse to post it. (BTW, Jason Segel introducing Arcade Fire was also awesome. I'm happy he's looking reasonably handsome again after having a rough couple of years.) And the second one is just, you know, to prove the band's general bad-assery and cuteness.

Finally, holy crap, I actually managed to finish those A Skeleton on Display character Sims I've been re-making. Check it out!

First, Eliza and Andy whom I've already posted but, you know, it's been awhile and I love them so. They're the characters I spent the most time on and the ones I think look most like the image in my head (well, as much as a Sim can look like a human being, anyway), probably because they're easily the ones I have the clearest, most specific idea of. Everyone else is a bit hazy around the edges but these two are quite fully-developed.

The brothers Thompson. I made Ollie a few months ago and never got around to posting him and I made Daniel yesterday. I didn't really try to make them look specifically like brothers, like with near-identical facial features and all, because I thought they might end up looking too alike and, besides, brothers don't always necessarily look at all like each other. But I think they are similar yet different enough that you can believe they're related without mistaking them for twins. Also, clearly the first time I made Daniel I briefly lost my mind because I managed to forget both that he has hazel eyes and also that he wears glasses. I guess it's not that unforgivable because these things are only mentioned once in the story but still! I am ashamed of myself!

And our dear narrator, Meg. Maybe because I wrote from her perspective and never really had to describe her appearance much I really have no concrete idea of what she is meant to look like. I never even decided on an official last name for her! The first version was quite obviously slapped together in about five minutes and really quite odd-looking. I didn't spend a terribly long amount of time on the second version either but I am better at making Sims now than I was two or three years ago so it doesn't show as much. Basically, I went in with the idea that Meg is a girl-next-door, pretty but not drop dead gorgeous, mostly bare-faced type. She doesn't really like makeup or fancy clothes and in fact feels quite uncomfortable in them. So I think I succeeded, even if I don't look at her and say, "That's totally Meg!" like I do with Eliza or Andy.

Anyway, the reason I finally got around to finishing up with these in the past couple days is because I now have a hankering to do the Swan Dive characters even though I should probably focus on finishing the story itself first. But where's the fun in that, right? I made an attempt at Beatrice a month or two ago but can't decide if I like her or not. But eventually I want to have Moira, William, Kat, Henry, and Beatrice done. Then I might try to create some of the other secondary but still important characters: Elizabeth, Seth, maybe Rosie (oops, if you've been following the story as I post it she's only been mentioned in passing so far but she does make a more substantial appearance much later on), possibly Syd and Lawrence. It all depends how ambitious I'm feeling. I also would like to do Caleb and Audrey from that other story of mine - you know, the one I've been working on for three fucking years and still am not close to finishing? Yeah. So... I'm probably going to be making lots of Sims in the coming weeks/months. I've kind of gotten burnt out on the Alphas right now so maybe if I spend some time in Bodyshop I'll start to miss them after awhile and go back. (Though I have spent a shitload of time in Bodyshop for the past few days trying to track down one mysterious problem file that was fucking with the adult female skintones; it was hellish, I tell you, hellish!)

Okay, I'll stop rambling now and get off the computer and try to do something productive (yeah, right).
stillonmystring: (Default)
So... I haven't actually played the Sims at all in almost a month. I know, right?!? But I've got other, more productive things taking up my time lately - or they're more productive in my mind, at least - and haven't felt much of an urge to sit down and play for hours. But I still have quite a few pictures sitting around that I haven't posted yet and I just realized that I also have commentary for this next batch of them that's been sitting around for awhile too so I might as well post it, right? Though I think this legacy is going to stretch on for a million years considering the rate I'm getting through it at. It's been going since May and I haven't even gotten to generation four yet, God. Anyway, I should probably refresh the memories' of the invisible thousands of people who actually read this blog on what happened in the last couple installments. So, here we go...

Last time: Brendan and Bree, the youngest members of generation three, grew up into adorable children, so adorable that they began to edge their older sister out in the heir race. Speaking of that older sister, Bianca was put to work making over the fashion-challenged population of Riverblossom Hills but instead spent most of her time admiring her own good looks instead. But she's awesome so, whatevs, she can be as full of herself as she wants. Meanwhile, in college, eldest child, Bradley, turned out to be a total bore and also somewhat creepy. His hobbies include playing in piles of leaves, bonding with the creepy elderly drama professor over his dormmates' weak bladders, and only having chemistry with his ex-aunt, Dollie, chemistry which led him to sneaking his first kiss out of her while I wasn't monitoring his every action. Argh. Also, his cousin, Ben, continued to seduce the hottest males on campus while simultaneously engaging in a heated feud with a dormie for no apparent reason and being stalked by his well-intentioned but rather creepy boyfriend, Abel. And then there was Ben's twin brother, Beckett, who was just as boring as Bradley but, thankfully, not nearly as creepy. And I think that covers everyone! Well, everyone who matters anyway.

In other news, here's a new story I wrote here. Yeah, the one I mentioned not too long ago. Basically, I managed to turn the beginnings of a terrible poem I started at least a year ago into a 20k word novella... in about a week's time. I think I may have been briefly possessed as there's really no other logical explanation for how easily and quickly that many words poured out of me. It was actually an incredibly liberating experience. Usually, I have exactly where I'm going to begin and end with a story all planned out but this time I basically ended up making a lot of it up on the spot as I went along. I mean, I had the basic premise for the story and the two main characters have been in my head in vague forms for a long time now but most of the details just kind of filled themselves in the more I wrote. That's never happened to me quite so completely before. Because this is a pure labor of love and I'm not exactly an expert on the topic that plays a large role in it, it might not be completely realistic and true to life. But I don't really care. I'm not going to get all caught up in technicalities when all I wanted to do was write a sweet love story in a slightly different way than I usually do. I tend to write about depressed characters with angsty backstories that find love - or, in fact, don't find love - with each other. I didn't want to do that this time. I wanted to give the characters an obstacle to overcome, yes, but not the kind I've come to rely on too much. And I wanted to keep their lives generally angst-free but not without the little bumps along the road. I think I managed this. Anyway, the ending as of now is a bit abrupt but I was starting to run out of steam so I thought it best to stop before it began to sound forced. If I feel the pressing urge to go back to these characters in the future, I may add more to their story but, as of right now, I'm considering it a finished piece of work. And as for other stuff, I've been working on a couple small things with little progress and am also trying to find the desire to dive back into my NaNo novel. I know it will come back once I actually start writing again but that's the part that is always hardest.

Holy shit.

Jan. 7th, 2011 01:06 am
stillonmystring: (Default)
Dude. I am writing this epic short story right now. I actually didn't set out meaning to either. See, I'm trying to either work with or officially discard all of my ideas I've had kicking around for ages now and one of those is what this story started out as. Initially, it was a poem but I realized that I just had way too many ideas to cram into a poem. So then I started a story which I got about three pages into before completely overhauling. Right now it's sitting at five pages and I'd say I'm maybe halfway done with it though I feel like I could possibly go way longer. See, I realized that I've actually had these characters in my head for ages now and it just took me vomiting out a few lines onto a page to remember every single thing about them. And now I've got a ridiculously fleshed-out main character, with an entire detailed back story, from two half-assed stanzas of a poem. It is craziness. But it also makes sense. I think I've been wanting to write this story for a long time. I was just afraid to tackle it because, well, I'll say this much about it: the main character is deaf. And I have next to no first hand experience with what it is like to be deaf so I'm kind of winging it and hoping it rings true. It's also in the present tense which I very rarely do these days (okay, that's a lie, a lot of my recent poems and short stories are in present tense but, somehow, this feels different though I can't pinpoint how), especially at such length, but it's working really, really well. It's giving it an interesting vibe. I am excited. But I think I have to stop for now because I am exhausted. Hopefully, though, I can get the rest of it out before I run out of steam.

Also, speaking of writing, I've been working on my NaNo novel a lot recently after leaving it alone for awhile and that's going pretty well too. Of course, at the moment, it's been pushed to the side for this current story but not for lack of ideas or drive. I think I'll be able to jump right back into it when the time comes. The only problem is that, at this point, I'm pretty much writing it back to front. As in, I have a very solid beginning that I wrote in November and a nearly solid ending that I've been writing over the past few weeks but a practically non-existent middle. So we shall see how that all resolves itself. Right now, I have to go to bed or something. Though I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep. I feel all jittery and exhilarated now.

Here's a little something to thank you for your time. I dunno. I watched this episode the other day and died laughing at this bit, though I didn't remember it from my first viewings at all. It probably works better if, you know, you actually understand what's going on. It's just the Doctor being his usual nerdy, over-analyzing, awkward self.

stillonmystring: (six inches forward five inches back)
OMG, I really want to see Rabbit Hole. Basically because, hello, John Cameron Mitchell is awesome but it just looks really good in general. It doesn't get a wide release until January, apparently, and I don't even know if it will make it all the way over here but I hope it does. Also, I need to watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch again sometime soon. "The Origin of Love" came up on shuffle the other day after I hadn't heard it for awhile and I had to listen to it three more times because, holy crap, so awesome. <3 <3 <3

Anyway, I feel like a massive dork because all I post about here lately is the Sims. But. It's a good thing to distract me when I'm feeling stressed out which I have been lately. Between finishing NaNo (I made it about 500 words past 50k. I could have gotten more but I didn't want to force it if I didn't have to and it wasn't coming very naturally anymore. I'm still nowhere near done with the story and I do intend to work on it more and hopefully finish it someday but I need to take a long break first.), trying to study and memorize math concepts that I haven't had to use in years (I'm taking the ACT next weekend which I should have done a long time ago but, alas, I didn't so I'm doing it now.) and hitting a bit of a plateau with my weight loss (I really need to stop eating so much crap but stress also makes me eat which sucks because eating too much makes me stressed too so it's an endless vicious cycle.), I've got a lot of stressful things I need to be distracted from. Just for a little while. So that I don't go completely crazy by trying to focus on them 24/7. Anyway. The point is, yes, I'm going to post about Sims again. And it's even lamer than usual. You were warned.

stillonmystring: (Default)
I need to catch up to where I'm at in the game right now because I feel like this all happened centuries ago. For that very reason, this update isn't very humorous or even entertaining at all. Sorry about that. Hopefully they will get better as I get closer to my current place. (Also, holy crap, I feel like it's taking me forever to get through generations. I feel like generation three has been never-ending, arrrgh. Not that I don't like this generation. I'm just ready for some new faces.)

P.S. So I installed the Sims 3. For no other reason than I just figured I should and some of the features actually sounded kind of cool and a couple of the expansion packs sound neat. I haven't got any of those yet. So far I've just played a bit with the basegame and I'm not too terribly impressed. Of course I haven't been able to do much yet either. I like the idea of the seamless neighborhood with no loading times to get to community lots but the way it's implemented... eh, I don't know. It's not all that exciting so far. And I'm still not in love with the way the Sims look though I'm hoping to fix that a bit with default replacements and the like. Really, I'd just like to keep the look and feel of the Sims 2 and smush it together with a few of the features of the Sims 3, mainly the traits system and the ability to repattern and recolor everything to your freaking heart's content (seriously, I spent so long in CAS perfecting my Sim's outfits/hair it was ridiculous) and the way it seems to be less focused on obsessive-compulsively keeping your Sims' needs filled. Another thing I dislike about it though is that the days seem unbelievably short which I think is because it takes a ridiculous amount of time for a Sim to complete a task. Seriously, half of my Sim's days are just spent standing around thinking about doing something but not actually doing it until she's good and ready. Argh. This might be because she's insane and neurotic (and a vegetarian! I do really love the whole traits thing) but I think it's a broader issue too. Anyway. It'll probably grow on me. One thing that most certainly entertained me was watching my insane Sim talk to herself. The faces are hilarious. So hilarious I took way too many pictures of them.

Because this post needs more picspam, right? )

P.P.S. Ugh. I am so burnt out on writing right now. There are six days left in the month and I've got less than 3000 words to write to get to 50k but I'm feeling so uninspired at the moment. I probably will be able to crank a few thousand more out to reach the goal but the story will still be far from finished and I think I need to take a break from it for awhile because I'm starting to have trouble figuring out my characters completely. I know I shouldn't be disappointed but I am just because I look at what I have done and I look at where I plan to finish eventually and it still seems impossibly far off. Bleh.
stillonmystring: (Default)

I am trying to post these all at once so I don't have an urge to procrastinate with the Sims next month because in two days, I've kind of decided I want to attempt NaNoWriMo for real. I know I said earlier I was going to use it instead to work on my current "novel" (which I have worked on a bit in the last few days so it's not like I've forgotten about it!) but I've been thinking about trying to write something brand new because the whole concept of the month is so totally opposite to my usual approach to writing (aka laboriously editing each and every sentence ten times before I move on to the next, leaving a story half-finished for months on end, etc.) that I think it will be a good exercise for me. So over about two days I've come up with a kind of partially-realized plot (I've got lots of characters, I'm good at those, I'm not as good at giving them interesting things to do for an extended length of time) and summarized some ideas that should at least give me a good start. We'll see how well it all turns out in the end. And I really don't want to say too much about it until I've finished or come close to finishing because I don't want to embarrass myself by spilling all the details and then failing. And I probably won't actually share it with the world until I've had much time to edit it after November is over because that's just how I roll and I don't think I can change that. Also, I've kind of chosen a setting which I have rather limited knowledge on so considering I can't adequately research that kind of thing in a couple of days, I imagine I'll be plugging a lot of that stuff in later too. I'm just trying to write the basics for now and worry about specifics later. Wish me luck!
stillonmystring: (speak my name and i appear)

You may remember these two stories that I wrote several months ago. At the same time, I started a third story to follow after them but then either got uninspired or distracted by something else newer and shinier (both equally likely) and gave it up for awhile. Over the past week or so, I've finally been able to force myself to finish what I started. Now don't be fooled by the length of this; the week hasn't been quite as productive as it may seem considering I wrote probably 60% of this in some form all those months ago. True, much of that 60% was mangled, outright deleted or given a major face lift and the whole thing grew into a much larger piece than I anticipated it would but it's not like I cranked the entire thing out from scratch in seven days. I'm not quite that good - not now anyway; there probably have been times in the past where I could have accomplished that.

Anyway, a few notes on the story's contents. I realized after I was almost completely done that it seemed to split naturally into a few distinct sections, probably for several reasons: the fact that I've been working on it over such a long period of time and therefore some sections have a very different tone and style than others, the fact that one section is written in a deliberately different style and tone, the subject matter itself and the way the main character changes with each major transition. Because of these splits, I was having trouble deciding how to lay out the story stylistically. While I was contemplating this, I began thinking of song lyrics that would fit different parts and decided that would be a good idea. So the story is not meant to specifically follow the songs or the entire songs the story; just those small pieces seemed to fit perfectly in and also served as a good way to bridge each transition. The songs used are Bright Eyes - First Day of My Life, The Antlers - Epilogue, Joanna Newsom - Does Not Suffice, Rilo Kiley - More Adventurous, and Maria Taylor - Orchids. I also used one line from Good Things by Sleater-Kinney in the second part. So all credit where credit is due there.

As for my own personal opinion of how the story turned out, I'm mostly happy with it but not entirely. It had been so long since I wrote most of it that I had trouble getting back inside the character's head again and there might be some slight inconsistencies because of that. I really tried to avoid them but I'm not sure I succeeded. Also, if you look back at the other stories, there are certain ideas here that kind of unintentionally mirror those. Of course there are the more obvious references and elaborations carried over from the other two but I also realized partway through that a lot of what the female character here says about feeling like the male character has become a completely different person and has started pushing her away is very similar to what he feels about her. I thought this ended up working out rather nicely because it makes sense that they would both be feeling similarly but can't tell this to each other or figure out how to resolve these feelings. As far as things I don't like go, I do like the train station scenario seen again from her perspective but I also feel like it's slightly out-of-place style-wise. I wrote it in more of the style of the first two stories and then continued to write this one in a less sparse, more detailed style and so I'm not sure how I feel about it in context of everything else. But the one thing I'm mostly unhappy with is the final part, the phone conversation, which I didn't quite manage to do what I wanted to with. But I've re-read it several times and can't really think of how to change it for the better without drastically overhauling it and at this point, I'm not invested enough in the story to do that, so it'll have to be alright as is. I don't think it's terrible, I just... wanted it to go somewhere else though I can't really say exactly where that was. But I wanted to give both the characters a reasonably happy and complete-feeling ending because I most likely won't be coming back to them again.

So, one unfinished project down... still several more left. I'm going to keep working at them and see if I can get some more finished up, preferably in the near future.
stillonmystring: (faster and faster i should run)
Hello. So. Sorry about the squee-fest last night. Sometimes, I just need to get that sort of thing out and I like to do it here so that when I get around to posting to my music blog it actually sounds semi-professional and not like I'm five years old. I also apologize for this because I'm about to do it again, just for a moment. But this:

When I try to move my arms sometimes,
they weigh too much to lift.
I think you buried me awake
(my one and only parting gift).


And this:

When your helicopter came and tried to lift me out,
I put its rope around my neck
and after that, you didn't bother with the airlift or the rescue;
you knew just what to expect.



Anyway. The actual point of this post is to talk about my latest writing endeavors. Which have been few and far between because the creative portion of my brain seems to be half-dead right now. But I'm trying to work past it. Last night and this morning, I managed to finish the next chapter of my longish-though-I-don't-really-know-how-long story which is here. Granted, it didn't really involve a lot of actual writing, just lots of word-switching and phrase-changing and maybe a few brand new sentences here and there, but I need to ease myself back into the process slowly. Now that I've got that done I'm going to try to do something more substantial. There are a lot of options right now. I still have about three half-finished short stories, along with one I've recently sort of halfheartedly started (I'm not feeling halfhearted about the story itself, just the trying to get down on paper what works so well in my head), not to mention the many ideas I still have sitting around that haven't progressed past a couple sentences. I also have, of course, the major story, which I have lots of bits and pieces of finished but a lot to fill in between those bits. So I've been thinking: next month is National Novel Writing Month and, while I'm not going to promise myself I'll write a whole freaking novel in that time (because I know me and it probably won't happen, especially if I'm forcing it), I think it might be a good idea to use it to progress as far as possible with that story as I can in that time. So, until then, I'm going to try to wrap up some of my less ambitious pieces. Honestly, they really don't need that much more work to be finished; it's just that I get stuck on one particular section and can't seem to get back into the groove again. But I am going to try. Because I hate when I go through these periods of never being able to write. And if I ever want to achieve the pipe dream of being a legitimate, published author someday I definitely have to learn how to force myself to be more disciplined and consistent. So, yes. I should probably wrap this up and go write something proper, shouldn't I?

stillonmystring: (six inches forward five inches back)
Last time: Well, it all happened so long ago! (Sorry about that, got bored with the game for a little while, though everything in this update and the next few actually happened months and months ago.) Let's see if I can remember... Due to the week's chosen mini-challenge, Tally was not allowed to verbally communicate with her family or anyone else because of a case of "laryngitis." Appropriately, she came down with the flu at that exact time. She spent the week surprising us all by actually being a decent mother and paying attention to her children for once... apparently, once she doesn't have her own voice to keep her company, she needs to seek out entertainment elsewhere. Meanwhile, her children did their best to avoid her sudden maternal instinct. Ambrose and August grew up into the most adorable little chilluns ever! Adam was disgusted by Ambrose's inherited sloppiness (finally! because I never quite figured out where all these neat freaks were coming from) and continued to slut it up with every teenage girl he came across! Amelia grew up too into a toddler and later a child and her adorableness may have nearly cemented her place as the heir of generation two! Oh yeah, and Adrian also grew up but sadly became a pretty boring teenager who only likes to constantly admire his own physique in the mirror. The twins bonded over tormenting each other. Tally started worshipping trees. Royce nearly burned down the house. Piggy still exists. All is well.

P.S. I've written a couple new things over the past few months. This poem which is a rewrite of one I wrote a few years ago. I may attempt this with a few other older poems in the future that I still mostly like the content of but don't really match up with the way I write now. Also, I wrote this story which is a continuation of the last story I posted. I'm also in the middle of writing a third story with the same characters (which is supposed to be the last but I'm not sure if it actually will be or not) along with trying to finish the next chapter of my novel and the eleventy billion other projects I've started and left abandoned. But I'm kind of in a creative rut at the moment so I haven't done much lately. They will all be finished at some point though, I promise!
stillonmystring: (Default)
I've been writing quite a bit lately but it's kind of all over the place at the moment. For the past two or so months I've mostly been working on three things. The first two are both new stories for my Calendar Girls project which are around half-finished and have been gathering dust that way for four weeks now. The third and more major of the projects is that I've gone back to my original idea for a novel (before I got distracted by the other one) and decided to see if I can finish it. The plans I have for it now have changed quite drastically from what they were before and I'm not sure exactly how long it will end up being. I'm pretty sure I know how I want to end it but how long it takes to get there is another story. So it could end up being novel-length or it could end up being shorter. Who knows. Right now I have about twenty-one, give or take a few paragraphs, pages I've written since around the middle of June (and I had no idea it actually added up to that much, wow). I've got it split up into about three good-sized chapters at the moment but, depending on how much more I add, I may split it up even more than that. Of course the problem is that it's written all out of order and there are a lot of little unfinished fragments so I can't really post any of it right now. And when I do post it all depends on how ambitious and creative I am feeling.

You see, I've come to the conclusion that I cycle through two extremely opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to writing. I either feel completely uninspired for months on end and can't come up with a single thing or I feel like I'm overflowing with ideas and end up taking on a million at once which makes it very difficult to actually finish anything. Right now, I am definitely feeling the second way. I've got the stuff I've already mentioned, I've got a couple Word documents full of half-baked ideas that I may or may not one day elaborate upon, and I'm still coming up with new stuff all the time. Case in point. For the past two days, I've been working on an entirely different story, one that started out as a poem but wasn't working in that format so I made it a short story, kind of a vignette I guess, instead. The good news? I've actually managed to finish that and decide it's good enough for posting. The bad news? It's taken even more time away from the stories I already have and should be working on instead. Oh well. Now that I've got this one out of my system, maybe I can actually focus on those ones. Anyway, as far as this goes, not much to say about it aside from it's very depressing but that was actually the tone I was going for from the beginning. I'm also quite happy with how it turned out, for being written mostly in two or three hours. Also, I apparently have trouble writing about anything except neurotic boys these days. Apparently, I find neuroses sexy or something. I dunno. But it seems my guys are always terribly fucked up and the girls less so. Anyway, so, you can read it here.

On a couple more writing notes, a couple weeks ago I plugged literally everything I had ever written up until that point into Wordle (except the fan fiction; I think that would have dragged the quality down) to see if there were any obvious words I used excessively. As it turns out, most of them were rather common words and I really should have gone through and deleted all of the character names because apparently I used them a lot more than I thought I did. But here are the rather uninteresting results (click for bigger):

The only thing I know I write about a lot that is completely obvious on there is "eyes" - I don't think I can go one story without describing someone's eyes. I guess it's true what they say about the eyes being the windows into the soul or whatever. I use them a lot to show how a person is feeling or what they are thinking or sometimes I just like to describe their color. I just tend to describe the face in general a lot, not just eyes but lips and blemishes and expressions. I guess because character development is a big thing for me and a person's face can say a lot about who they are. I also probably describe changes in people's voices a little too excessively. I sometimes have to keep myself from doing it every other line. Other things I rely on a lot... hearts and love. I mention hearts a lot. But perhaps my most unique offender is cigarettes which I think actually just missed getting in that cloud - I think it would have been there if not for the names. I have this weird fascination with cigarette smoking. But it's like the romanticized version of cigarette smoking. Like, I see a picture of someone with a cigarette or see someone smoke in a movie and I almost always find it ridiculously sexy. That's the reason I write about it so much, because it sounds sexy and sophisticated and kind of beautiful. But then I see a person smoking in real life and it's like, EW DO NOT WANT. It's very hard to explain.

Also, just as I was writing this entry, I found this super sweet website that you can plug some writing into and it will tell you what author it supposedly sounds like. So of course I just had to do it multiple times! Except it's not all that awesome because apparently most of my writing sounds like Dan Brown. What. I refuse to believe this. I did get Chuck Palahniuk for this newest story and a few fragments of other stories and poems; I've only read one of his books but I can't really see his influence in there. Then I got Stephen King for one of my unfinished month stories, H.P. Lovecraft for my baby story, Vladimir Nabokov for my latest poem and James Joyce for this one. So basically I'm all over the map. And I supposedly write like authors I haven't even read more than one book by. I'm sure there are a lot of authors who aren't in this database though and I'd really like to know their criteria for making these comparisons. Like, how in the world is my writing similar to Dan Brown's? Because if it really is I think I might cry.

Okay, now I'm going to go make a writing database to pin to the top of this journal. This new layout looks really cramped with the side bar visible so since I can't link to them from there I guess I will have to do it in an entry instead.


stillonmystring: (Default)

January 2012



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